Archive | Sachin – The Mammoth RSS feed for this section

The Lords Of Cricket – The Tin Towers

24 Jul

You must have seen The Lords of  the Rings – The Twin Towers 

You also must have seen, The Lords of Cricket, The Tin(Three) Towers

Advertisements

My Bowlers Don’t Get Credit and I don’t like it

20 Jul

Yeh, that’s right … This is Angry Post … so if you are batsman or masturbater-kind over glorious cover drives … FO. 

All Of you … Every single Indian of You … cricket lover of you are guilty of this sin … those who said India produces Great batsmen only. 

FUCK YOU.

“Ooohh wow Great WI bowlers … legends. Oooh Great Pakistani Duo. Ooooh Oooh Murali. OOoo Australian Bowlers …. Ooooh Dale Styen. Oooohh English bowlers in English Condition”. 

 

Shut Up. 

Who the fuck … who the fucking fuck has been taking 20 wickets from 2000-2011. My Dady? No! Your Daddy? No. Then, Shut up your mouth … you have cavity. 

India has played 42 test series 23 WON 10 Draw series = 33 = not lost. 33 out of 42 test series NOT LOST. 

Did your batsman come down from hell and took 20 freaken wickets???? NO.

My Bowlers Did. Yes .. Those Skinny Bastards. Those Skinny Bastards also .. had to bat and bared taunting from commentators the way they bat … the shady techniques they have … laughed at while they took a rapid signals to get off the strike after bowling under ugly sun. (I hope Sun doesn’t read this)

How many times your ‘batsmen’ … your 3 Gods + Your Dasher … Bowl and helped taking 20 wickets? Once … thrice .. I will give you 5 tests. Then … who took those wickets? My Daddy? Your Daddy? NO .. You? NO … My Skinny Bastards. 

Let say you have full respect for Kumble. I agree. But what after him? Did we crash like Aus did Post-Warne? Did we ..? No right! 

Were there only Mammoth BATTERS responsible for those wins? 

You rated them recently … Gave them least score … gave Australia FULL mark. Then, Worshiped Dale Styen. Masturbate over English bowlers in English Condition .. but WTF happened in WC. 

Oh WOW the WORST rated bowling team WON the world CUP. Didn’t they? 

You You You … Pseudo supporter of Indian bowlers. You haven’t done great in giving credit to my bowlers too. One say Zak is God, rest are meh! Really?, Zak had done great against Aus and Bangla in last 3-4 years. What about other series? What have you done?

You said ‘Oh Oh Ishant is inconsistent, IPL has ruined him, Oh oh Bhajji should have been dropped, He is SO bad that he is dragging our team down, oh oh Plaha sucks, Oh Oh Sree .. ‘he is Lunatic’ ‘Overrated bowler’ He is more of an actor than performer, Ojha oh we don’t respect left arm spinner, they ‘AREN’T’ actually real spinner, Munaf!? ‘He has become spinner’  … 

Are you getting it what I am trying to say?

Put one hand on your heart, look at the pitches my bowlers bowled at …  look at the scorecard for last 5 years. I say, look at the score card for even whole decade. And tell me, are you doing enough justice to my bowlers. 

Are my bowlers (plant) lost among three giant batsmen (trees)? Has proper sun-light reached them? Shouldn’t they be praised more in Media, because they are the one who took 20 wickets, no?  for 32 NO LOSS test series? 

What is more easy … playing 200+ dot balls and be MOM or bowling 1oo deliveries running hard … jumping hard .. and still occasionally been asked to play ‘Night Watchman’ to shield your batsman? Just tell me now, what is easier? 

My Bowlers are Work Horses. They are like factories, who never say no, till their system failure due to overload. They are Stallions. Your Batsman are Just Bull Dogs. 

And I like my Stallions as much as I like my Bull Dogs. And you should too. 

– By Angry Knowledge_Eater’s Bowler’ Mind.

 

 

Cricket, Me, and Tardness

24 Jun

It was fun growing up in 90’s. Watching Cricket in 90’s was even better.

But playing cricket, but not just watching, was the best.

For me, there was no such a thing as DravidTards, SachinTards, AustralianTeamTards, KumbleTards, WarneTards etc. etc. I liked all of them. I liked the whole team. I was fan of Nayan Mongia, Ajay Jadeja, even Vijay Bharadwaj, Kambli, Prasad, Srinath, you name it .. everyone. I wasn’t even old enough to evaluate or understand, who was skillful in the team and who was wrongly picked. Nothing sort of thing. I just wanted team to win.

I never had lust of having their autographs or never bought their wall-portraits and fantasied like many teenagers do. I didn’t even ask that I want Sachin’s picture notebook or Rahul’s. Or neither I cared to find out what state is that player from!

Whenever my team won, I got happy. Whenever they didn’t, I felt sad.

It was THAT simple.

As we touched 2000, I grew up. (very cool right 🙂 ) I got wiser. Started to understand even further about the game. 2003 WC came. India played many ODI’s. I didn’t get to see whole 2001 epic Kolkata win against Australia. We had temporary BW TV, as we were shifting to new house. I didn’t even get to watch much of test cricket as my school time was 9-5. I come home, if there is any day-night ODIs, I watch them, IF I had done my homework. There was no such a thing as internet. Forget the highlight, not even score card. Was I even keen enough to check every single scorecard in newspaper, as I am right now? No. Only when India won. I would barely even look at it, if India would have lost.

Then, What was I keen to do at that time, related to cricket? Play cricket. Play real cricket. I used to get at least an hour everyday to play gully cricket. Not only cricket, I played all kinds of games. Marbles, hide and seek, Kabbadi, and there are zillion other games which doesn’t have English name. And of course, if you have read my earlier post, I did Judo as well, in depth.

So, what do I want to say? What is my point in all this?

My point is that I never actually had specification or THAT teen-age sportsman love or that eagerness or that bias feelings like I would be happier if certain individuals have scored runs I would be happier that certain others in the team scored. I mean I felt same happiness. Even right now, I would be happier if certain individuals score run without a doubt, but I always had that kind of feeling that let it had to be Indian batsmen or bowlers.  Let it be from the team I supported from childhood. I never had or even today, I never had ill feelings if one player from the team should score more than others.

There was no that crazy ‘Tardness’ developed in my brain, it has lot to do with my age, very limited media exposure, I had no access or interest in Ranji. Nothing.

It was simple. Team won. Tendulkar scored runs, Kumble took wickets, Jadeja played cameo, Azhar caught splendid catch.

It got even simpler around late 90’s and mid 2000’s. Dravid scored, Ganguli scored, Sachin Scored. They all scored. Tons of runs. Mammoth partnerships. Team won. Yay.

And then enter: Access to internet

Statsguru, Forums, Blogs, Videos, More stats, Ranji trophy numbers, which player come from what state, who are Sachins Dravids Gangulys Kumbles competitors in terms of wickets runs … etc. etc.

It just got messy. You start to wonder, ‘Can player actually do that?’ ‘Is this player better than others?’ ‘Is he really the special one in the team?’

Then you tend to follow game very closely, you tend to compete players within team. You tend to question importance of the players within one single team more than you compare your team player than others.

The Tardness was born.

Has tardness ever entered my soul? Has tardness ever polluted my mind? Has tardness ever made me to hate players within a team?

It wasn’t easy. In rise of Internets, access to scorecards, stats, reading articles, reading zillion hate comments, it wasn’t easy. It just wasn’t easy to pick side. It wasn’t easy to adore just one … just one player from team so badly that you can strip any other player with vicious arguments, backing up with specific knocks or specific bowling attacks or specific situations.

The answer is no.

How can it be? I played cricket more than I watched. I never had access to internet, when my consciousness was strengthening. I didn’t even care about what player is from what state. I just supported team. I still support team.

That’s why I have never let Tardness enter my brain. Yes, I might like watching certain players more than others, but Tardness is different. It’s like teen-age love. It’s an obsession for player, that I have never developed in my brain. I never grew up that way. I was very sane by the time, I had access to internet.

I mimicked Dravid’s batting style personally, loved watching Sachin, thrilled when Ganguly stepped out of the crease to hit 6, said ‘YES’ loudly when Kumble’s googly came at > 90 km/hr crashed into stump, widen my hand in air (afridi-style) when Prasad knocked of Amir Sohail’s off stump etc. etc. The list goes on.

I might have Tardness for team. I am not sure if I have ever insulted or question players within team. I might have defended my players. All my team players, all the time. Hack! I even adored Robin Singh.

But right now, with technology, statsguru, videos, score cards, IPL, Ranji, all things available, growing up without having tardness is almost impossible.

If you were born in 70’s and 80’s, and were aged >6-7 entering 90’s, I am sure it was just easier to avoid tardness, unless you had access or immense interest in Ranji and team selection.

And I am glad that I was never involved or never perceived my team or team players that way. It was just easier supporting whole team, though my team was losing quite often. 😛

Who wants to win World Cup for whom?

25 Feb

India wants to win World Cup for Sachin Tendulkar

Srilanka wants to win World Cup for Murali

South Africa wants to win World Cup for Kallis

NewZealand wants to win World Cup for Vettori

Kenya wants to win Wold Cup for Tikolo

Australia wants to win World Cup for Ponting

WestIndies wants to win World Cup for Brian Lara

Ireland wants to win World Cup for Eoin Morgan

Netherlands wants to win World Cup for Ryan Ten Doeschate

England wants to win World Cup for Stuart Broad

Bangladesh wants to win World Cup for Saurav Ganguli

Zimbabwe wants to win World Cup for Andy Flower

Pakistan wants to win World Cup for Ijaz Butt

Canada wants to win World Cup for Celine Dion and Micheal Fox and Sidney Crosby


Anti-Anti-Sachin-Fan – My Alternative Story

23 Jan

There was a competition for submitting Alternative Story on http://paddlesweep.net/win-two-copies-of-the-alternative-cricket-almanack-up-for-grabs/ hosted by @mspr1nt aka Ms. Print and @MI5HRA aka Ankit Mishra on @paddlesweep.

I e-mailed them story, since it was quite a story. The book I suppose to compete for is by @AltCricket, you can find them here http://AlternativeCricket.com . Once I get the book I will do review post. So, apparently, I was one of the fortunate to win a Book. Why? Well, you can find out by reading my story below. 🙂

My Alternative Cricket Story.

Have you ever day dreamed?

I do it all the time, in fact, I have PhD degree in day dreaming. And because of that PhD degree, I have hard time concentrating on my normal easily achieved M.D. degree. My, this story might not qualify for being ‘alternative’ because there are thousands of competitors each day dreaming something should happen before the cricket match begin.

Last 5-7 years, have been very sad years for being Sachin fan.

“Wooohhhh Dude did you just say SACHIN”, now already I can see, few people have already clicked red X button and started to browse cricinfo, or their twitter account.

Now, see this is what I am talking about. It’s been extremely difficult to survive as a Sachin’s fan. And expectation we dream of everyday. People laugh on us. As soon as you tell them,

‘Hey, I am big Sachin fan’, they say, Ughhh they start to puke on your hand and your face. I wipe that face, and trying to explain, why I am Sachin fan, they again try hard to defecate, since they drink less water before going to bed, or less fiber rich food, ergo they put their constipated poop right in front of my mouth.

And I miserably swallow that and hope that my stomach and esophagus don’t rupture due to retching, since they reject that puke and poop.

A great man once have said, “ Sachin’s fans think, Sachin’s fart is like meteor” or something like that.

Do you know, how many kind of people I have to deal with, who hates certain kind of people ,so eventually they hate Sachin, everyday!

Those, who are SMG hater: For some reason (out of blue haha not exactly) SMG announced Sachin should have all records of batting, now people who hated SMG at some point, hate Sachin for no reason. Each runs he makes ‘people will say, see see he is doing exactly what SMG have told him, see see! I tried to argue but Sachin is more attacking ODI! t20! aggression! and  much more humble he is nothing like him, they reply SHUT UP JuSt SHUT up. We HATE smg ergo We HATE Sachin. PERIOD.

Those, who are Computer Software Hardware Dataware Analyst Engineers: These kinds of people have become BIG headache for Sachin fan like me, they usually have basement or one room with 2-3 computers, with high-speed internet, a bit chubby, and very ugly people, who have rarely seen light or played freezbe with their Dog. They come up with some analysis and stats for past 1000 years and history with even Aliens who explained Egyptian how to play cricket, they eventually declare Sachin was never great batsman. Or on the contrary Sachin was the greatest batsman. As soon as people hear this, they just start puke and poop on my face.

Those, who always negate everything whatever you have to say: These are ‘special’ ‘unique’ ‘Judgmental’ ‘Genius viewer of the game’ ‘Pure Species’ ‘THE most Neutral Game Watcher’ kind of people. They will never accept with your opinion. They will come up with something drastic or WOW factor of the game. And they have their own fan base, so as soon as Sachin scores, they come up with special judgment, and their fan base start ‘poop and puke’ all over again right in front of my mouth.

Those, who hates regionalism: They hate regionalism so much, even I hate it, but these individual ‘HATE’ everyone who are from that particular part of the world. They even forget that it’s not Sachin’s fault to be born where lot of poop thing has been done because of some shit politician. What is Sachin fault where he is born and speak same mother tongue as some random douche politician!! So, people who hates individual from that part of world, they hate even Sachin, and throw poop and puke in front of my mouth.

Those, who are atheist: I myself don’t believe there is God, I believe in my parents and my culture. But, certain fanatics, start claiming Sachin = God the Cricket God, those atheist’ blood boils, they just hate the concept of God. I hate it too. But, they just hate the concept so much (since lot of shit has been done because of concept) they hate Sachin, they throw poop and puke at me.

Those, who think he plays for record and not for  the team: These people are worst of all. Whenever, I hear something like that my RBC die prematurely, I become anemic. I feel cold. Still, I can’t cry being man, doing martial art, and being martial art fan. I just can’t cry. (I haven’t cried for last 15 years) So, what happens is, I might have got hidden ulcer about to tear. Or aneurysm about to appear. HOW ON THESE Bleeding Violent Deforesting earth scoring runs going to team’s total looks like he is playing for himself? Sometimes, I feel like let’s just cancel all his runs and request those basement Software engineers to run a software that shows how many times India would have lost the match miserably if it wasn’t for him.

So, you see in this of modern days, it has become extremely difficult to survive as Sachin fan. I can’t tweet, I can’t blog about him often, I can’t show my happiness every time he scores. I can’t yell Sachin….. Sachin ……Sachin people look at me and say

“Dude, are you suffering from something”.

I reply, “no I am just supporting. I am just happy”

“DUDE JUST STOP I DON’T WANT TO HEAR SINGLE THING ABOUT SACHIN RAMESH TENDULKAR, STOP SPAMMING THERE ARE MILLION OTHERS CRAZY HAIRY INDIANS LIKE YOU DOING IT EVERYDAY EVERY MINUTE, I CAN’T BEAR THIS ANYMORE SCREW SACHIN, WE HATE SACHIN FANS AND SACHIN FANATICS ergo now on WE HATE THAT GUY with WEIRD VOCAL CORD”.

I get lump in my throat, I shut up, I shudder my soul and sleep through that night. So, now, I show my happiness not when Sachin hit 4 or 6 (Ravi Shastri still gets happy though, but he can, I can’t), where I used to all the time, remember people throw poop and puke at you, when you do that, and look at you with ferocious reddish face.

So, I get happy when he does something spectacular. Sachin’s fan are becoming dying breed. So, I wait for something crazy to happen.

And it did.

I was reading few Facebook messages; send by known person of mine, who iss son of my teacher I used to go to tuition to learn Maths and Science in grade 9-10.

He was constantly throwing poop and puke at Sachin over internet everyone can see it. He was repeatedly saying Sachin is not match winner anymore, even though he just scored century against Saffa in first test in India. All other batsmen crumbled even chasing SA mammoth score http://www.espncricinfo.com/indvrsa2010/engine/match/441825.html

And I was like here we go, all over again, You can smell those Anti-Sachin bacteria start to get accumulated as soon as Sachin scores and other fails. And the poop and puke began. The ‘S’ word were thrown. And India lost by an inning. Heavy lost, perfect temperature for Anti-Sachin bacteria to grow.

And the bacteria over my Facebook  time line gone rampant and I felt like I got diarrhea.

Then, the 2nd test came. Indian batsmen scored runs. Almost, all did. And that friend of mine continued to poop and puke despite Sachin’s 106. According to him, Sachin was playing for 100 and he should have batted like Dhoni, I was trying to explain but if he would have got his wicket playing Rash shot, Dhoni could have had partnership with him since Badri and Mishra was gone cheaply. And India might not have able to win that test.

But, as I said earlier, it has been extremely difficult to praise Sachin in this modern time. I had to eat poop and puke again.

Then, came the ODI series. But those bacteria on facebook were still growing. And Sachin was run-out for 4 in first one-day. I was like dope! The homer style. And the bacteria reached at exponential growth. I was like I don’t want to sign on facbook today. I had lump in my throat again. I was sad.

I felt like ‘Why am I even watching cricket instead I should be studying?’ It was good thought. And due to time-zone problem, I was unable to watch match anyway. But, that night after regurgitating puke and poop for thousands time for this many for last 5-7 years. Sometimes, you just yell out of frustration as a fan. And before going to bed.

These were my exact thoughts.

“I wish Sachin scores 200 runs tomorrow and India scores 400 runs, that would be the biggest slap on …..Bhai” (he was older than me, and as Indian culture we use suffix ‘Bhai for respect)

And I woke up next morning, and first thing I do as soon as I wake is turn on computer, then wait on bed till it starts, even though I want to poop, the pressure is coming, still I wait till I see scores on cricinfo.

And I can’t believe, it happened, read the Title of Cricinfo. I stared title for 3 minutes. And my hands were up in the air, feast clinched. And Wide Smile on my dimple producing face.

FOR WHOLE 3 MINUTES, I couldn’t smell my armpits, which so closed to my face.

I ANTI-JINXED Sachin.

He scored 200 runs. He did exactly what I wanted him to do before going to bed. I didn’t pray. I just requested it. It was just out of frustration of bacterial growth that was going on over internet.

And when I replied that individual ‘See see he pawned SA. He scored 200. Now eat your shit”

You know what he replied to me.

He told me “haha, now I should do banter more often on him, so he scores”

And I laughed nervously, ‘Saying to myself, f**k this is really bad timing for being Sachin and Sachin Fan’

I know you don’t believe me all who didn’t press on X and continue to read (I don’t know why you are still reading). I don’t blame you, if you don’t believe it. How can I blame you guys of not believing if the guy whom “I saved from 4 High school bullies on first day of new school by kicking lunch box out of school wall in grade 4th and his grade 2nd”,  that who doesn’t believe me either till date.

I replied to my brother on yahoo.

“Me (2/24/2010 12:13:05 PM): to be honest i had a feeling that Sachin might hit 200 tom. before going to sleep .. and it happened wow .. i m not kidding .. seriously its freaky but now it happened .. wow i can’t believe this”

“My Brother (2/28/2010 1:25:51 PM): bullshit”

So, that’s it. This is my sad and happy alternative story of being ‘expecting machine’ from my favorite batsman Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar.

It all sounds unreal, well, I don’t mind people believe it or not.

But that one answer from favorite cricketer can make Anemic fan like me into Polysythemia Vera.

Thank You for reading.

The Title of this story should be “Anti-Anti-Sachin Fan”

 

P.S. as Tyler Durden explained before joining in CricketClub “The first rule of Cricket Club is you don’t talk shit about Sachin”

Bacteria may ask, “What is the 2nd rule”

Tyler Replies, “You do not …

And by the way, if you can please buy Book, it might help few young athletes, who could do a lot with little support, because http://AlternativeCricket.com also runs scholarship.

My 3rd Day of Cape Town on Twitter January 4th 2011

5 Jan

“zzz” I wasn’t actually sleeping.

“More off that please.” When Sachin played pull shot to Tsotsobe

“Use the feet against Harris, he is at your feet.” Harris is was so easy to play when you come forward, so I tweeted it. Seeing him getting bounce, because of his height.

“Captown Ghost is still sleeping though.” I was just trying to compare this inning with Sachin’s 169 (which is my all time favorite.

“A guy just tickle-kick a girl to let her know she is on camera!! Dude a respect for a lady please?” I just saw a guy friendly kicked girl, I never kicked girl in my life. Why do you even want to kick a girl anyway!

“Polly is pawning Mike Haysman lol #cricket” Pollock was explaining Tsotsobe’s foot problem. Mike Haysman made a blunder. But, Polly politely corrected him.

“And the candy scream by Tso TSo” Tsotsobe cried when his edged went to 4.

“Bhajji watching this. ?” Few bowls (2) were turning enough by Paul Harris to beat the batsman.

“Scrambled seam #ftw”  Tsotsobe was using scrambled seam short-good length wide pitches to Sachin, and he wasn’t timing it before of Akward pace and bounce from Scrambled seam.

“That wasn’t an edge” Steyn laughed and everyone appealed for an edge, but it wasn’t an edge, umpire rightly got that one.

“Spinbhajan Singh.” I retweeted this. @bigfatphoenix aka Anand Ramachandran

“I am sure others have mentioned it already, India has always played with 4 bowlers.” Sarcastic tweet against commentators claiming Kallis’ bowling will be missed.

“@Slbry That’s why there is captain who can manage 4 bowlers when demanded.” My Reply to this tweet “@Knowledge_Poop Those accustomed to 5 will feel pinched with 4.”

“JP Duminney just stopped his captain’s shot. He should be nervous now.” JP was on for Kallis fielded really well, stopped many runs of Sachin, who was his captain for Mumbai Indians.

“VVS is the word.” VVS smashed 4 to Paul Harris.

“Google Australian Dingo go to images click on first photo.” Do this, you will be surprised 😛

“Peterson is for batting in my fantasy team. Easy there with bowling average. Son.” He was leaking runs. He was in my fantasy team.

“WTF” VVS’ run-out.

“You mother …” Frustration by the way he was run-out.

“WTF VVS was doing, standing and watching. WTF” Frustration after watching replay.

“@AltCricket My 60% hits. :)” reply from @AltCricket @Knowledge_Poop haha you must be proud… who reply to me for my google Australian Dingo Tweet.

“And the crowd is showing their real ass douche character chanting and clapping adding pressure. SHUT UP” Against crowd, SRT was in 90’s.

“Too tall bowler to hit the stump.” Morne Morkel

“Che is protecting SRT. Nice I am off to bed. I will explode. zzz” Pujara took a single to retain the strike, before lunch was called. And I wasn’t sleeping.

“Move Aside Wasim Akram, New Kid is in town? His name is Dale Steyn Too early?” Steyn’s delivery to Pujara just eclipsed Wasim akram’s great delivery, which was given not-out. It swung a LOT.

“Still Captown Ghost is sleeping.” You know what I meant there. 🙂

“Bloody Fighter Plane” Styen’s wicket to Dhoni

“@SpiceBoxofEarth Swann’s strike rate in this ashes has been 75+” I tweeted on @SpiceBoxofEarth Dileep Premachandran’s Tweet.

“I keep reading references to Swann as the world’s best bowler. Not on the planet I inhabit. There’s Steyn, and then daylight.”

“Well that’s one way you can loose the bowl, The Sehwag’s way” Sehwag once in his domestic match said to his partner, when they were having trouble with swing the bowl was producing. He said something like to his partner. We have to loose the bowl. His partner surprised and said what. Then, Sehwag just smashed the bowl right out of the park. So, they lost the bowl. Thus, lost the swing. Bhajji was smashing it that time so I tweeted it’s The Sehwag’s way.

“First attempt by Morne to disturb someone and he tried Sachin” I have never seen Morne Sledge in the whole match, or do anything in  whole match. Sachin was taking single and Morne widened his arm so Sachin can’t take single. It looked friendly obstruction. But, Morne wasn’t laughing.

“They appealed when he didn’t nick it” Appeal which was turned down, and Steyn didn’t appeal properly when Sachin seem to have nicked it. It was not-out clearly when they appealed it properly.

“WOWWW Ian GOuld I am your fan” Ian Gould’s decision, when Steyn’s one of many unplayable bowl passed the out-side edge but kissed the stump but didn’t dislodge the bails. Speed of bowl was 138km. In real time, you have to be very good to catch that.

“@straightpoint I can’t believe it how did he get this one.” My Tweet to @straightpoint pankaj sharma’s tweet “sensational decision…”

“ASHES can gift me the trophy still it doesn’t beat the intensity of this match. So I will decline it.”

“lol… when you can’t dislodge the bails at 138kph, when the fuck can you…. bastard superman, how do you do it?” My Retweet of @achettup

“Now I can go to pee” Over change, wasn’t moving. Match was intense.

“SRT is taking Steyn when India at only 6 down. The highest possible tribute to a bowler. #Newlands #cricket” My Retweet of @cricketingview Kartikeya Date

“Best bowler in the world vs best batsman in the world. Test cricket at its very finest.” My Retweet of @AltCricket

“I’m not bothered about the result. In terms of quality, this is the best Test I’ve watched in years. #cricket #Newlands” My Retweet of @SpiceBoxofEarth Dileep Premachandran

“@SpiceBoxofEarth Durban wasn’t bad either. So, will say this whole series has been fantastic.” My reply to his tweet above.

“Captown ghost is slightly moving his eyes”

“I haven’t slept for whole night.”

“Scrambled Seam SCREW THis Tso Tso”

“@straightpoint I just might if we don’t pull it off. Hard work is done on this. :(” My reply to@straightpoint’s tweet “you won’t regret it either… RT @Knowledge_Poop: I haven’t slept for whole night.”

“Hahah Sachin to Bhajji: Bichme Khada rahe (stand in the middle)”

“and in the meantime… please find a time to take a bow to the curator of this pitch… #newland” My Retweet of @Straightpoint

“Captown ghost slightly opening an eye” Sachin was hitting runs comfortably.

“I’m looking for all those folks who say Sachin has never played a crucial innings when it mattered… you can come out now as hypocrits” My Retweet of @achettup

“@achettup They aren’t hypocrites they are Bacteria, they grow in certain temperature, when he plays and other fails.” My reply to his tweet.

“WTF is this guy on?” Paul Harris was given bowl.

“@straightpoint He is middling everything for last 45 min.” Response to @straightpoint: “this would be one of the most ugly yet most satisfying 100 of sachin…”

“@cricketwballs watching test match right now?” To JRod

“@paddlesweep And he is no way looking like wants to retire anytime soon. :)” My tweet to @paddlesweep’s tweet

“For the record, we never said, in our 500 or so posts, that Sachin doesn’t play well under pressure. So come out you fuckwits, and watch!” His response “@Knowledge_Poop People like Him and Kallis are needed to be revered specially when greats like punter are acting all twattilicious.” My response: “@paddlesweep They both are inspiring each other”

“hahha” Bhajji hit 4 to Paul Harris

“THat turned” This one turned. (he turned 2)

“@Knowledge_Poop Harris turned a ball? #apocalypse #rsavind” @MeikoElektra Meiko Georgouras asked

I replied in later tweet @MeikoElektra Shit Happens. 🙂

“K I am feeling hangover without Alcohol”

“@HomerTweets Honor. Btw. You are my top follower as well. So double honor.”

“62 more to go.”

“Btw. I am not tweeting after this test.”

“@Knowledge_Poop oye… only 162 to go… don’t we need lead… ;)” @straightpoint asked

I replied “@straightpoint 62 to go to level it Sir. Real Match Start afterwards. :)”

“This is going to go only one way. Is Par ya us Par #hindi” Steyn was brought back into attack Bhajji was facing.

“OMG US par it went” Bhajji hit a six to Steyn. It was very well connected. The bowl wasn’t short, it was on a good length. Hard to hit those like this so easily.

“It was so beautiful that he started crying” Bhajj got something in his eyes.

“@DaleSteyn62 LOL” Yup, I teased him of seeing Bhajji hitting six to the world best bowler

“@achettup LOL” my response to @achettup’s tweet “oh man… I can see another monkeygate incident coming up at this rate… Sachin and Bhajji together again…”

“@BugsAndBails And he is missing” my response to @BugsAndBails Rahul B  “Did someone notice SRT hasn’t scored for like 15 balls now? Bhajji has climbed to 33, SRT stuck on 134.” He replied “@Knowledge_Poop Yeah. But has been playing for around 300 balls. Seems tired.” I replied “@BugsAndBails He was middling everything before Bhajji got whole lot ofstrike he lost strike and missing.Well He can’t tire,now, lot to play”

“SRT now has more Test hundreds in SA than any other visiting batsman – 5. Hammond and Harvey have 4.” My retweet of cricketingview Kartikeya Date

“@paddlesweep That delivery just beat this onehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fL6Bb1HBrIU Unplayable.” My response to

@paddlesweep Paddle Sweep’s frustrated tweet seeing scorecard “I am worried about the next generation indian team. WTF Pujara. See you after tea”
“Zzz”
The end

I could not watch whole day match.

But this was my Golden Moment of Tweeting and Watching Cricket.

We can forget Tweets and Blogs, but memories are unforgettable.

Thank You India and South Africa for these memories.

What if Sachin had 0 Test hundred?

20 Dec

People rate players on different things, some rate players as a match winner, some rate them as their flamboyant style of play, some rate them as a perfect technical player, some rate them from their stats, some rate them through their looks, some rate them as their humbleness, some rate them as a savior, some rate them as attacker, some rate them as only-hope, some rate them through their consistency, some rate them from their opponents etc. etc. etc.

There are million check marks for batsmen, before they are called Greats.

I always thought the rating of players is done by

‘What if that player haven’t score any runs at the time of play?”

Now, I am not statistician, or I haven’t seen every cricket matches. It might be very surprising that I haven’t even watched lot of matches, as it looks like. But, I have played more cricket matches (counting all gully cricket, league, and school cricket matches) in my whole life time than actually watch cricket match.

So, main rating of players importance in the team I do, is by using “Null method”

“The Zero Mehthod”

I make that players run 0 of that match and then look at the team position.

Now, imagine what if Sachin haven’t scored those 100’s, and assume what could have happened to that match?

I can’t go through ODI right now, because they are just too many, and I don’t have time currently. Love for Sachin made me write this post, yes, it doesn’t call waste of time if you blog about Sachin. 😛

I will use cricinfo match score for each of his 100, and will try to see what would have happened to that match.

First 100 Old Trafford, Manchester

http://www.espncricinfo.com/ci/engine/match/63535.html

He scored 119 and India scored 334, so 334 – 119 = 215 runs + 225 minutes. India would have lost that match, instead It was drawn. So, clearly it was important 100.

Second 100 Sydney Cricket Ground

http://www.espncricinfo.com/ci/engine/match/63565.html

He scored 148 and India scored 483, so 483-148 = 335 + 213 minutes. India again would have lost that match, instead It was drawn. So, clearly it was important 100.

Third 100 Western Australia Cricket Association Ground, Perth

http://www.espncricinfo.com/ci/engine/match/63567.html

He scored 114 and India scored 272, so 272-114 = 158. The famous WACA inning. India did lost this match, but if Sachin hadn’t scored that run India might been asked to follow on and Tom Moody and Dean Jones probably didn’t require to score 100’s and India would have lost match by an Inning.  So, may be that 100 wasn’t important, may be Merv Hughes would have saved few beard hair by swearing less at tiny little boy.

Fourth 100 New Wanderers Stadium, Johannesburg

http://www.espncricinfo.com/ci/engine/match/63587.html

He scored 111, India scored 227, ergo 116 of India total, if Sachin didn’t scored. Match was drawn, India would have lost the match. I presume because Sachin spent 373 minutes on ground, SA batsmen would have more chance to declare early, and pitch wouldn’t have teared and it might not have helped Kumble. So, I will say this 100 was important.

Fifth 100 MA Chidambaram Stadium, Chepauk, Madras

http://www.espncricinfo.com/ci/engine/match/63599.html

This is not hard at all but you get the picture what I am about to say, 560 India runs, he scored 165. India won that match emphatically. India pawned England. Period. Important 100.

Sixth 100 Sinhalese Sports Club Ground, Colombo

http://www.espncricinfo.com/ci/engine/match/63616.html

Easy one 104* at strike rate of 64.59, thank you Kumble and Kambli. India won. Important 100.

Seventh 100 KD Singh Babu Stadium, Lucknow

http://www.espncricinfo.com/ci/engine/match/63631.html

Very easy one again, an inning victory again Sachin 142 runs at 60+ strike rate, Thank you Kumble.

8th 100 Vidarbha Cricket Association Ground, Nagpur

http://www.espncricinfo.com/ci/engine/match/63661.html

179 runs, unfortunately match drawn, :@ Hooper, but important 100. Hooper could have one handedly won that match.

9th 100 Edgbaston, Birmingham

http://www.espncricinfo.com/ci/engine/match/63713.html

Not important 100, but if he hadn’t scored 100, Prasad wouldn’t have those two wickets, and Atherton wouldn’t have that 50.

10th 100 Trent Bridge, Nottingham

http://www.espncricinfo.com/ci/engine/match/63715.html

Important 100, he spent 360 minutes and made 177 runs out of 521, Dravid might not have chance to made 89 nor Ganguli could have got 100, England could have easily won that match. So, important one.

11th 100 R Premadasa Stadium, Colombo

http://www.espncricinfo.com/ci/engine/match/63762.html

Very important 100 for India and also Lara, Lanka could have scored 1000 runs in test, and Jaya might have scored 450 runs.

Now, I am tired a bit right now, I will come up with other 11 later maybe.

Summary: 9 important 100s out of 11. Two not that important in Perth and in Birmingham.

Do that for rest of the 100’s for not only test, do that for ODIs as well!

Now, sit back and imagine the swipe of team.

What would have happened if Sachin was playing with the Merv Hughes and What would have happned if Sachin had Ambrose and Walsh?  How many matches Sachin would have won?  What would have happened if Sachin had Waqar or Wasim? What would have happened? What would have happened if Sachin was Steve Waugh’s brother? What would have happened if Sachin and Warne were blonds or both had curly hair? What if Sachin and McGrath grew up together?

For that analysis, read these articles first? And figure out by your self what could have happened, if those were existed?

By ACHETTUP

http://www.boredcricketcrazyindians.com/2010/12/how-does-sachin-tendulkar-do-it.html

By Greyblazerr

http://greyblazerr.blogspot.com/2010/10/my-tribute-to-tendulkar.html

By Cricinfo

http://www.espncricinfo.com/magazine/content/story/460856.html

By Cricinfo

http://www.espncricinfo.com/indvaus2009/content/story/433228.html

And yes, He still thinks it’s just another number, also he seems to be getting bored by his records in his recent 100 interview.

http://www.espncricinfo.com/south-africa-v-india-2010/content/current/video_audio/493491.html

He almost scared me there, but I heard he still enjoys playing cricket, which gave me few hope that India can manage to win world cup. 😛

And lastly, all I want to say, no-one is forcing you to like Sachin, like it or not just don’t throw poop at him, because it looks very stupid. You can joke about him being Lactose Intolerant and not liking cheese, and may be not eating cheese might be the secret of being successful batsman http://www.cricketwithballs.com/2010/06/17/sachin-tendulkar-exclusive/ contact Jarrod for that matter. 😛

but throwing ‘cricket’ poop at him is like eating your own poop kind of thing.

If you want to be “UNIQUE” cricket analyzer and be “ANAL” about it then sure, you can do it. If you think not hailing him makes you “Special Great Cricket Knowledge Man” then sure go ahead. Be special. Go ahead. No-one is forcing you. But please don’t dare to throw poop at him just for sack of it. Like him or not, if you think he is Rat or not http://paddlesweep.net/when-will-sachin-tendulkar-retire-and-what-will-life-be-like/ (Read comments) Even if he is Rat, this Rat has rattled so many lonely bowlers and teams many times. He even made bowlers famous, because he hit runs against them.

Just SHUT UP and Let us masturbate.

He is the Tree of Avatar Movie, who has made many cricketer famous, because they were becoming conflict of Sachin’s record, so people go through their records and they started to respect them as well, which they wouldn’t have if that record wasn’t made by Indian Cricketer.

People even respect more to other great batsmen, whom people thought that they aren’t getting enough attention because Sachin is getting too much attention. (You know negative support kind of thing)

He is/was our hope.

Don’t try to take it away from us.

Let us enjoy this moment.

I hope this kind of moment is not the last, and I hope another Cricketer comes and another one breaks the record, but if that doesn’t happen, I would rather enjoy this with happiness than procrastinate later.

So, Thank You Sachin.

Who is this Debutant ?

27 Oct

I don’t know what Cricket analysts and Writers are doing these days !!

They are busy picking best XI, and looking for old talented cricketers. But no-one is talking about new recent debutant ? What about the player who worked so hard to get in to side? What about player who made India win many matches for last 3 years !

I mean give this young guy where its due now. Everyone is talking about  some old guy who scored many runs for India and have scored most amount of World Cup runs and highest of centuries and all that. But hey, he is old guy. He tried his best to win World Cup for India, but he couldn’t for India.

But what about this new debutant !! He is young. Energetic. Looks good in technique. And he recently won many matches for India. Not only in Test but one-day too.

So, here I am writing on this new comer debutant. Who started showing he can be great batsman, if he continues to bat like this for at least 10 years.

That was his first match.

http://www.cricinfo.com/rsavind/engine/current/match/249215.html

He played decent for a debutant, scoring as much as another great senior Ganguli.

http://stats.cricinfo.com/ci/engine/records/batting/most_runs_career.html?id=2753;type=series

He played very vital first inning in first test match, unfortunately, India lost series.

After that, that Debutant have played 31 Test match and scored 3090 test match runs, with 12 centuries, with 65.74 average. Now thats very impressive for a debutant scoring consistently for 3 years. And not only that he has scored runs in ODI, as well. He has scored 1895 runs in 40 ODI with 54.14 avg. Now, that is very impressive for a youngster to be able to do that in both formats. I hope he plays IPL as well, I wonder who will auction him ! And for how many $ !

If India needs to win next world cup, this young person must fire with other youngsters like Raina, Kohli, Ishant Ghambhir etc. with support from senior players like Sehwag, Dhoni, Yuvi, Bhajji, Nehra and Zak.

India also plays Nz. and SA before world cup, it will be really great practice for him to get to play few tough bowlers in foreign condition like SA. He did decent against them in his debut series. Let’s see if he can continue his form, so selectors can pick him for world cup squad.

I want him to get picked for coming world cup. I see him scoring lots of runs for India. He seems to be future of India. After retirement from that old guy, I think India must look forward to this new talent.

India finally looks like finding a proper technique filled batsman, but I don’t want to hype him and jinx him. I know he can learn a lot from few seniors like Dravid, Laxman, and Sehwag. I am sure he must have been asking them lot of question how to handle crazy Indian fans. They must have been giving this youngster lot of advices, how to handle a pressure with media questions and all that. He can learn a lot from these seniors. Looks like MSD trust him as well.

Its sad that youngster wasn’t available for 96 and 2003 world cup to bat with Sachin Tendulkar, who was one of the greatest Indian batsman. If this youngster was found earlier to bat with likes of Sachin, Azhar , Sidhu, Sehwag, Dravid, Srinath, Kambli, Kumble than I am sure India would have won both of the world cups. Imagine Sachin and this debutant batting together against any bowling attack. They would have ruled all bowlers. And won lot of matches for India.

Well, sometimes you can’t get everything what you want. So, I am being optimistic and wishing this youngster a great success on his career. By looking at his fitness, I think he can go long way.

Mammoth is playing 169th

2 Aug

Being a nature lover, and cricket lover, I have decided to make a list of Cricketers and compare them with animals.

I am going to start with Mammoth who is playing his 169th Test match.

Sachin Tendulkar - Always try to carry whole team on his shoulder, he carries heavy and score heavy.

What’s the big deal ?

Its very big deal. Especially if you play these many Test match. The pride and Respect of playing Test match can be visualized not when you debut. But when you are about to Retire from Test.

If you have seen people carry you on shoulder while you retire from that format. Retiring from Test Cricket is always a big deal.

But today we will witness highest amount of Test match played by one of the most evolved batsman I have seen in my life, none other than Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar – The Mammoth.

The Mammoth carry most amount of weight, they can survive in any extreme weather and can go on without food for long time. However, Mammoth are believed to be extinct due to Extreme climate change and Human Hunting.

Sachin have carried Team India’s weight for many years (21 years). 21 years are big number surviving in Cricket. Over taking Number Tests played from another respected legend Steve Waugh is big deal. Very Big Deal.

If Sachin is suffering from some disease, it would be Obsessive Compulsive Cricketeamia. (i.e. OCD) Recently on Cricinfo he said he always prepare well for every tourny, he plays. Well, that is so basic for any sports, Sachin doesn’t get into Cricket mode and dive in ZONE as often as expected is not a fluke. He does his homework, even after he graduated from double PhD of Cricket Degree.

He still behaves like student, behaves like Master, and read his notes again and again to retain good grades in School of Cricket.

One Test match is equal to 2 ODI and 4 T2o for me, it drains lot out of you.

Mammoth is born to carry weight and protect their daughters, sons, and whole species.

Thats what our Mammoth had been doing for 21 years.

He has evolved from feisty Cub http://www.cricinfo.com/ci/engine/match/63516.html TO

Mammoth http://www.cricinfo.com/sri-lanka-v-india-2010/content/current/story/470658.html

Respect.