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Test Championship may cause disharmony

17 Aug

Have you enjoyed dethrone ceremony of Australia’s legacy?

Have you enjoyed dethrone ceremony of India’s Number 1 position?

Have you enjoyed England being number 1 test side at the moment?

Are you eagerly waiting for certain team who will dethrone England in few months? Aka South Africa?

Are you eagerly waiting for Australia 2.0?

Are you eagerly waiting for India Fightback to top 2.0?

Are you waiting for a massive upset coming by Pakistan, West Indies and surprise surprise Zimbabwe, who may dislodge bails of Top Test Team?

Are you optimistic about Sri Lanka the Test team post-murali?

If the answers for above questions are yes.

Then, where does Test Championship fit in?

ICC is planning to replace ca$h cow tournament ICC champions trophy (ODI series) with ICC Test Championship.

Are they doing this because they want to ‘save’ test cricket? No.

ICC Test championship is nothing more than making more Ca$h. I can say, It is basically another ICC World Cup or another T20 Domestic Tournament (IPL, FT20, Big Bash, etc.)

There is no difference between them. Here, ICC (mainly) and respective boards, who take part will make money, whereas, in T20 Toruny, hosting board and player’s board make money.

There is no early intention reveled by ICC that what are they planning to achieve here. I bet they will be happy if only ICC Test Championship go on and no bilateral team touring series in future. If that happens, say goodbye to traditional bilateral test series.

I am not sure if I would like that, because on one hand I can’t wait for revenge test series against England when India host them, on other hand, I am still sulking about Zak’s terrible fitness, and amount of tests India will play on top of IPL and Zillion ODIs.

Schedule is quite hefty for Indian players. As much as I like player to be fresh for IPL or ODI world cup that much I want my players to be fresh for Test Tournaments. So, I am not sure what is the ICC and other boards’ plan is.

What I can assume from FTP, that ICC’s plan is to just add another Test championship on top of hefty schedule, just like how they added T20 World Cup. (thanks to India, who won the first WC, against epic contender Pakistan)

(It’s ridiculous that IPL has gotten this much of scrutiny and people have started to think IPL = T20 cricket, and ignored FT20, ICC T20 World Cup, T20 Tourny in Pakistan, T20 Tourny in SA etc etc.)

So, Why would Test Championship may cause disharmony? I mean first thing first, if tournament is won by number 4 ranked test team, it just totally disturbs the team that is at the top of ICC ranking. Now, many people argue that ICC Ranking doesn’t make sense. Well, I don’t want to go in detail, but it is applied on all teams.

Another thing may happen that it will start to devalue or belittle or cause buffering in Bilateral Test Series.

Just like how media and many fans massively value Ashes (Australia vs England), people will start to value Test Championship so much that they will stop carrying about bilateral test series. What do you think will happen to tournament between not so strong test sides?

Now, fan like me will watch any kind of cricket, whatever is on!  What about the fan wanted more of test tournament between particular nations? Now, tournament will go on, as per FTP, but what if players start preferring Test Championship more and don’t play or rest for normal bilateral tourny? What will we do then?

Let’s say they have no choice but to play then what about freshness of players for bilateral test tourny compare to Test Championship?

I expect disharmony is just waiting to happen. Either players will not be fresh or will break down for particular tournament due to load of tests. Also, bantering and preference of particular Test Tournament will always be there.

Imagine the scenario E.g. England who are at the top of ranking, losing to India, but media/fans will say, well, we are still at the top, no?

or another scenario, SA is at the top of ranking, but Australia beats them fair and square in one test ergo winning the semi-final but losing to India in the final, which team is the best test team then?!

It will be interesting to see how ICC, Media and Fans will give importance to test championship before or after the winner of the first test championship.

For me, test championship is nothing but to make more money but not to save test cricket, just like ICC T20 World Cup.

My Bowlers Don’t Get Credit and I don’t like it

20 Jul

Yeh, that’s right … This is Angry Post … so if you are batsman or masturbater-kind over glorious cover drives … FO. 

All Of you … Every single Indian of You … cricket lover of you are guilty of this sin … those who said India produces Great batsmen only. 

FUCK YOU.

“Ooohh wow Great WI bowlers … legends. Oooh Great Pakistani Duo. Ooooh Oooh Murali. OOoo Australian Bowlers …. Ooooh Dale Styen. Oooohh English bowlers in English Condition”. 

 

Shut Up. 

Who the fuck … who the fucking fuck has been taking 20 wickets from 2000-2011. My Dady? No! Your Daddy? No. Then, Shut up your mouth … you have cavity. 

India has played 42 test series 23 WON 10 Draw series = 33 = not lost. 33 out of 42 test series NOT LOST. 

Did your batsman come down from hell and took 20 freaken wickets???? NO.

My Bowlers Did. Yes .. Those Skinny Bastards. Those Skinny Bastards also .. had to bat and bared taunting from commentators the way they bat … the shady techniques they have … laughed at while they took a rapid signals to get off the strike after bowling under ugly sun. (I hope Sun doesn’t read this)

How many times your ‘batsmen’ … your 3 Gods + Your Dasher … Bowl and helped taking 20 wickets? Once … thrice .. I will give you 5 tests. Then … who took those wickets? My Daddy? Your Daddy? NO .. You? NO … My Skinny Bastards. 

Let say you have full respect for Kumble. I agree. But what after him? Did we crash like Aus did Post-Warne? Did we ..? No right! 

Were there only Mammoth BATTERS responsible for those wins? 

You rated them recently … Gave them least score … gave Australia FULL mark. Then, Worshiped Dale Styen. Masturbate over English bowlers in English Condition .. but WTF happened in WC. 

Oh WOW the WORST rated bowling team WON the world CUP. Didn’t they? 

You You You … Pseudo supporter of Indian bowlers. You haven’t done great in giving credit to my bowlers too. One say Zak is God, rest are meh! Really?, Zak had done great against Aus and Bangla in last 3-4 years. What about other series? What have you done?

You said ‘Oh Oh Ishant is inconsistent, IPL has ruined him, Oh oh Bhajji should have been dropped, He is SO bad that he is dragging our team down, oh oh Plaha sucks, Oh Oh Sree .. ‘he is Lunatic’ ‘Overrated bowler’ He is more of an actor than performer, Ojha oh we don’t respect left arm spinner, they ‘AREN’T’ actually real spinner, Munaf!? ‘He has become spinner’  … 

Are you getting it what I am trying to say?

Put one hand on your heart, look at the pitches my bowlers bowled at …  look at the scorecard for last 5 years. I say, look at the score card for even whole decade. And tell me, are you doing enough justice to my bowlers. 

Are my bowlers (plant) lost among three giant batsmen (trees)? Has proper sun-light reached them? Shouldn’t they be praised more in Media, because they are the one who took 20 wickets, no?  for 32 NO LOSS test series? 

What is more easy … playing 200+ dot balls and be MOM or bowling 1oo deliveries running hard … jumping hard .. and still occasionally been asked to play ‘Night Watchman’ to shield your batsman? Just tell me now, what is easier? 

My Bowlers are Work Horses. They are like factories, who never say no, till their system failure due to overload. They are Stallions. Your Batsman are Just Bull Dogs. 

And I like my Stallions as much as I like my Bull Dogs. And you should too. 

– By Angry Knowledge_Eater’s Bowler’ Mind.

 

 

The Final and Me

1 Apr

So, This is it. Final.

The dream. The Pain. The belief. The Trust. The destiny.

The End. All ends here.

In Mumbai, the dream starts at 2:30 local Indian Time at Wankhede.

I would not like to be in 2nd place now. We are almost there. I know… I know you are sore, guys, you are in pain, mental exhaustion more than physical. Because you can numb your physical exhaustion, but mental exhaustion on top of more mental pressure of ‘what it is to be in the Final and not win’.

Phew. It’s horrible, if that happens.

I want to share my personal sports experience.

I was in around grade 8. I had just won the state championship in Judo, weight 35-40 Kg, beating 6 opponents. So, it wasn’t an easy tournament, I played at home. So, you can say, it looks like I had the home advantage. But, in reality, I didn’t. When almost your whole family comes there to support you, to cheer for you, you can hardly distinguish who is shouting or what is being shouted!

You can recognize their voices, while you are fighting. And THAT can be distracting if you are the emotional kind. But, I defied all that – I beat all 6 of them. I still remember how much Glucose powder and water I was chugging after each fight. I was literally boiling. I couldn’t drink much water because I was on an empty stomach. I was so exhausted when I got on Mats for Medal, The Final Fight.

I couldn’t feel my limbs as much as I wanted to. I couldn’t grip my opponent’s Judogi properly. He was slightly skinnier but taller than me. I had wide shoulders, he had very strong legs, constantly moving. In short, he was quicker than me. His Fight- Body position was slightly leaning FWD, that’s offensive posture.

But I don’t know what happened at the time. I have this thing for Mats. I have this thing for the battlefield. Whenever I get on mats, something happens to me. I become an animal. Even in friendly matches, I had sometimes done very offensive throws on my team-mates. AND yes, I have been slapped/scolded for that kind of approach.

So, anyway, I started to stare at my opponent, and did not let him grip my Judogi for 20-30 seconds.

And then, a sudden burst of Epinephrine started to fire. I went for Morote Seoi Nage. Got Point Yuko, which is not enough to win.

Then again. Same Throw. Point – Yuko. Then again same throw, Point – Koka.

I was just so tired. And Time was done. I had won. I couldn’t believe I had just won the 2nd state championship.

Happy Moments.

Not for long though.

We had to go to a 7-day training camp, including those who came 2nd. All weight categories, to prepare for National.

But here was the problem. There was re-fight between the 1st and 2nd on the 7th day, whoever won that went through to National.

Gulp.

I was warned by my master, that DO NOT EVER SHOW YOUR TACTICS, your strength, your abilities in these 7 days.

But I couldn’t help it. I got on the mats in a practice session. We were practicing how to get out from most severe holds. I had developed so many techniques getting out of holds. Many unorthodoxtechniques, just like MSD’s unorthodox shots. In that friendly practice, I was being held by one ofthe boys who was in 40-45 kg category. He held me so tight. My neck was in severe pain. I started to forget those words from my master (to not expose my strength).

Sadly, that epinephrine thing, Mat thing, the animal thing, kicked in. I pulled off from that hold. Igot out of that hold. Using my unique style. People were stunned. The coach who was training us fornational was stunned.

Everyone clapped. My chest swelled. I smiled inside saying “Yes” “I am the one” “I know I amspecial”.

Unfortunately, this practice session was just the day before final Re-Fight day.

You can sense, inside of my mind, I was confident, so confident that ‘Meh, I will beat him the 2ndtime easily”. A guy who shared a room with me, with other fighters for 6 days, who became friendswith me, training together, playing together, eating together etc.

Also, my whole family traveled to the place a day before the re-match, with all of my Judo-teachers.

From our batch, there were 3 more girls and one boy, me. But, who was the one, they were the most confident about! Me. They knew I had the most amount of skills, strength, and hunger to win this again. That coach who saw me like this in practice session told my master what happened, and what I could do the night before. I was in trouble. He came to me and showed me angry eyes, telling me ‘what on earth was I doing! Showing off! I warned you not to show off!’

I was psyched, I saw my whole family had come to watch this re-match. Even my cousins came to see this. They all surprised me. I was happy, but I got so psyched with all this. I was so confused.

Suddenly the Evil question troubled me for whole night.“Can I actually re-win this again?”

The moment that question started to roam around my lobes, it was like a hideous parasite was roaming around jumping from one lobe to another. I was in shock. My face was like the face of an 80-year old who was suffering from constipation. All other weight categories, knew that ‘Meh this guy will make it for sure’ and we had even started to plan for our great journey ahead going to play national.

But that “Can I actually re-win this again?” – that … dreadful virus … actually parasite in fact, was haunting me. No-one knew about it. Only I knew about it. Only I could feel it.

I was under a clinical depression kind of thing.

And the bubble burst. I got on the mats, I felt I had nothing left in me with all this mental exhaustion. I was going for throws, all half hearted, no strength at all. Couldn’t execute any throws. My eyes were searching for help. I knew I was in trouble. Time was running. My opponent managed to get Yuko point. Only 1:30 left. I was going for fluke throws, nothing was working. I tried at least 4 times that good old Morote Seoi Nage, the one that won me my gold medal. Nothing worked. My opponent was sensing fear in my eyes. It was like he had decoded me in these 7 days. I was losing. My dreams were shattering. I still remember my masters’ attempt to help me do this and that, showing signs, he never does that to anyone. I remember those disappointed faces on my cousin’s eyes, who came specially far away to watch me win so I can go to the national, which was avery big thing. I was in pain. Not physical. Mental.

And it happened. End time bell rang.

I lost.

I was shattered.

After match, my cousins were trying to console me. I was running away from everyone. I wanted an empty place. I wanted an alone place, I could feel that something was going to happen to me.

We had to line-up for a resign letter from this camp. Official letter that stated that our Camp wasover, and we were going home.

I burst in tears there. I cried like, I never did in my entire life …. till today I haven’t cried like that. I was in grade 8. But still, I won one more state championship before this, I went to national beforethis. This was my 2nd. But I cried.

I was given nickname “Parshurama” by my Master. Why? Google that name. Google that Giant and look how that character has been portrayed and described.

“Parshuram” cried like a baby that day.

Sigh!

The most dreadful day of my life. I still remember that I cried and saying “I don’t want to go home, I want to go to the national”.

But, you can see that I didn’t actually deserve to win. I was mentally weak.

So, what’s the connection of this with Cricket? I just wanted to give glimpse of this Final and Players, try to see from a different perspective what competitors go through days or hours before big match. I know I was just a tiny boy and it is like dirt compared to a massive cricket world cup final and team India.

However, the intensity of pain that will be felt from loss, will not be that different.

So, I wish Team India to pull this off. Don’t make the mistakes I did.

Please, don’t be psyched by occasion.

Please, try to ignore those billions’ expectations.

Do the right thing.

And the right thing is

to Win it

For yourselves.

This is it.

The Final. 

EDIT: P.S. – Thank You Team India For winning the World Cup. Edited at 4/20/2011

The Most Heated Cricket Argument EVER, Who is the greatest Batsman?

1 Apr

Listen closely they make a great point, I have never seen anyone making this much sense till date. These guys know their cricket. I thought I knew cricket … phew. What an ignorant I was. Now, I am convinced after this argument, who is the greatest batsman. Please, listen carefully.

P.S. – I can assure you they are not talking about Saurav Ganguli, they are talking about someone else.

April Fool 😛

Mini-Final Mega-Final Final-Final

26 Mar

So, here we are … trying super hard to act like ‘we-don’t-care-about-upcoming-mother-of-all-matches’ and trying super hard to concentrate on our daily activities.

But, It’s not working right!

I know I know. This is what Cricket does to you.

I also know almost everyone (other than few Indians) want India to NOT win this World Cup. Many reasons. Quite understandable.

I know, our team has become punching bag after Australians, so I understand that.

So, look how many finals India has to win to be called champions.

1) Mini-Final vs Australia

Why Mini-Final! Because Tim Nielsen said so. Not, exactly. India had to beat biggest and most consistent WC thumping team on the Human Planet.

They defy Australians. Mighty Australians. Think about it for a sec.

Still Number 1 ODI side in ranking.

Was coming with 6-1 win to England.

With line-up of Lee, Johnson, and Tait (Average speed over 140 km each).

Ricky Ponting.

Shane Watson.

Hussey Brothers, Recent decent form of Micheal Clarke, weird aggressive stroke play of Haddin, Could blast at any time Cameron ‘Bear’ White.

And lastly, They just had a Hat-trick in WCs, ALSO, were defending champion.

These were enough reasons, they could have STILL win this world cup.

It looks easy to talk about it now, that ‘hey, they were beaten by Pakistan, and also were beaten by India in Warm Match’. But, remember India was batting 2nd. And 260 wasn’t bad target to push for win.

They tried their best, argued, sledged, fought, bled blood.

But, phew!! India won. It wasn’t easy.

2) Mega-Final vs Pakistan

Mega Final is next up. Mother of All matches. The Jugular of Asian Cricket. Gold Mine of Cricket. Sons and Daughters of Cricket.

The India vs Pakistan. In Semi-final.

First Time ever in ODI World Cup history.

Pakistan has the most complete bowling side. In form bowling side. They beat Srilanka and Australia in their Group stages. Almost beat NZ (Kamran Akmal). So, it’s fair to say, they are literally unbeaten side.

India has home pressure. Never lost WC match, but never won game in Mohali against Pakistan.

It will be another, the toughest match, India will ever play in their WC history. Even tougher than 1983 final.

And at the End, if India somehow manages to win that one then,

Phew

3) Final-Final vs Srilanka or New Zealand

And that might possibly be the toughest match mentally.

Because, it’s final. Final-Final. You win -> You will be called champions. The Champions of the World.

Doesn’t matter who comes in Final.

That team will bring it!

So, if India manage to win this world cup, they should be called winner of 3 Finals.

1) Mini-Final, which they have won against Australia

2) Mega-Final, which they have to win against Pakistan

3) Final-Final, against Srilanka or New Zealand.

Phew!

Now, how is that going to happen?


Do you need Heart? Take Saffa Cricket Fans’ Heart

25 Mar

Are you suffering with Cardiomyopathy, Cardiomegaly, Floppy Valvular diseases, Endocarditis, Heart Failure, or Myocardial Ischemia and suffering from any irreversible heart damage?

Are you in need of new heart?

Take South African Cricket fans heart.

It will be Super Healthy and most tolerable heart on the planet.

I don’t want to go through statical analysis on their sudden lack of Oxygen to vital organs due to sudden irreversible squeeze of …

Well, what ever…

Just make sure you understand the immense strength of South African Heart.

Strong. Athletic. Totally immune to any hypoxic injuries. Especially Suffocating one.

Now, make sure that heart is not the heart of any of their Cricketers.

Because that would be bad transplantation.

As history suggests, SA players have the weakest hearts on the planet but their fans have strongest heart.

Yes Yes .. It’s ironic. But it’s truth. All the testings were done through out WC history, is right there in front of you.

So, Donate your heart if you are South African fan, I mean sign up for donation at least. They are very rare and can lengthen the life for needy ones. If you are not South African fan and are into watch South African cry, then I suggest you to donate your eyes, or at least sign up, because you must be having wicked eye to see that pain without feeling pain for them.

So, in short, best healthy heart award goes to South African Heart.

 

P.S. – if you are compulsive 24/7 meat eater this award is not valid.


India is ready for QF. Playing Raina not bad thing.

21 Mar

Yes, You heard it right.

India is ready for QF.

Sehwag Sachin Gautam Kohli Yuvraj all had decent bat in 6 matches.

Zak, Bhaji, Munaf had good days except in few crunch moments they went for 10+.

And now Add RAshwin in the mix.

+Add surprise bowling package Yuvi is providing.

Yuvi is flighting bowl perfectly from beginning. He rarely bowls shortish delivery like he usually does. And like Yusuf does in his 65% or more deliveries.

That Puts Yuvi among Strike or Main bowler.

So, Sachin Viru, Kohli, Gauti, Yuvi, Zak, Bhaji, Munaf, RAshwin 9 players good outing with bat and bowl.

10th -> MSD, didn’t get to bat much but he had good days with captaincy and one blunder or may be it wasn’t blunder but wasn’t positive. However, he had great times behind stump. I don’t think he dropped any catches or missed any stumping. 8 dismissals, and I bet among 5 catches many came of slow bowlers.

So, now it’s coming down to 11th.

Yusuf had Okish days with bowl. Good with field, not so good with bat.

It’s not his fault entirely. He is innocent ManBeast after all.

So, what should be our line-up against Australia.

I personally prefer Raina ahead of Yusuf against Australia especially.

Why! Main reason is the Raina against Australia.

For some reason, I think Australians rate Raina very high. Their mentality might be weak bowling against him. Short ball thing is fluke. What are the chances of Short balls working well in Ahd.! It’s not about short balls. It’s the worry of playing long innings. Raina has played long innings more in international matches than Yusuf. If we are 3-4 wickets down early on, which is more likely against Australia, we need someone to stay on crease to play out 50 overs. That’s where I see Raina being ahead than Yusuf.

Yusuf is an X-factor. It is unlikely that he will play anchor role. Raina has been dynamic. He can change his roles. Him being in CSK, might have gone against him, and might have been culprit of sledges among cricket-circle. But I rate his batting in ODI way ahead. He comes in top 3 as a fielder, as well. Expect him to force many run-outs and stop many runs in cover region (as you saw him fielding for Viru – Sachin hehehe)

Another thing why I want him in, the way he bowls. Bhajji right arm off. RAshwin right arm off. Yusuf right arm off. Raina right arm off. Although, I think due to weirdness of Raina’s bowling style, and un-predictive bowling line-length. Raina might surprise batsman or force batsman to go after him. Yusuf is stump to stump very predictive so far. Though good economy might make MSD to go ahead with Yusuf.

And last thing is, Raina is left hander. It does make a difference. There are not many left handed, young players who play cover drives and over midwicket in cow corner as good as Raina. It will force Punter to make mistakes in setting field in crunch situation.

So, I don’t mind if Raina plays on Thursday instead of Yusuf.

So, this will be my playing XI on Thursday. In that batting order.

Sehwag Sachin Kohli/Gauti Yuvraj MSD Raina RAswin Bhajji Zak Munaf

Good Luck.

And yeah please beat Australia, so they finally stop winning World Cups.


To, Dear MSD, …

18 Mar

To,

Dear MSD,

Hi, I am knowledge_eater aka Knowledge_Poop, a curious cricket follower, cricket lover, cricket player and mere Bloger.

I have always been fond of you, and your captaincy. Why! because you have improved and transform from coal to diamond in least amount of time in Cricket History. Some say you are lucky, some say you have good side, some say you are defensive, some say you are aggressive, some say … oh well, people say, what they think, because they care. At the end of the day, cricket might be the winner, but we all want our team to be winner.

I think your captaincy always has plan with everything. Your decisions have always something to prove. Your decisions always have plan B. It is like an algorithm attach to it. If this and this will be the condition, this and that will be your next step. There have been many occasions where you have change your bowler, and instantly you have received a wicket. If that happens in a match or two, it’s fine, but I have seen it happening in many matches.

I like the way you speak behind the stump, there is a combination of request and order as a captain in your tone. I like that. I also like the way how have you managed to keep things almost uncontroversial for media, (here and there fake news reporting, or fake taunting regarding few players doesn’t count as a controversy).

And well of course, you have won a world cup.

And when newbie captain wins a world cup, it’s not fluke, a final tickle by Misbah might be fluke, but being undefeated for whole tournament wasn’t a fluke for sure.

That means, you had hidden leadership skill all along, and now it has become full blown full time job.

So, here is my request, before Media will eat you up alive, and they will if you do any more blunders or will do something courageous but result will be negative. Because, it has already started to happen.

1) Please, include RAshwin in playing XI

2) Do not give Yusuf Pathan bowling in first 20 overs, especially don’t give him so batsman get set in meantime and can easily play your non-part timers, whom you keep it late for slog overs. If you are so tempted to give him over, don’t include him in your side, take Raina, so in a way you don’t give him ball, or you rather give it to Bhajji or RAshwin.

3) Sit out Nehra, he is down on confidence, this is not the right time to make him prove the point. He might end up bowling too many extras in huff and puff.

4) Please, play Kohli one-down or at least at number 4. You can’t ignore him coming in with very good form into World Cup. Yes, Yuvi is a match winner, but Yuvi is still Yuvi. He is better finisher than starter. Yes, Man Beast is Beast, but he is innocent Beast after all.

5) I like the way you have used Munaf, so don’t change that.

6) I like the way you have used Zak as well, so be prepare for Plan B if he is going for runs, or batsman see him off.

7) I don’t think you are using Bhaji properly, so if you take RAshwin, you will have two options for bowler to play attacking role. If you use both of them at both ends, then batsman have to go after either of them, that’s when we can start smelling wicket. Yes, they are almost the same kind of bowler, but well, how many batsman around the globe are comfortable with spinners in crunch matches!

8 ) And finally, don’t trust your Tail. Because, it is literally tail.

So, thank you for listening.

And I can see the swords are out against you, I can smell it, a mistake from here, will cause mayhem against you, so I am just warning you.

From,

knowledge_eater

 

P.S. – I also like the way you have improved your skill of winning Toss and please tell your batsmen to not leave anything for you and finish the job, since you have enough to worry about.

 

Englund on verge of KLPD, will they avoid it!?

12 Mar

I know, I know what you are thinking, a team that lost against Bangladesh and Ireland, with one of the worst bowling Average of the tournament. With Matt Prior. With injury hit side, KP, some people think it’s good injury. With team, whose best bowler is Tim Bresnan!!

Why do they deserve to get qualified!!

I mean think about it.

England were literally considered as almost minnows in ODI, yes, their bowlers have terrible record in one day cricket.

Do they have history in World Cup … well, they don’t, they never won World Cup. Had Good side till late 80’s and early 90’s.

Then, nothing really.

Even their fans know they don’t stand chance winning any kind of ODI world cup. Ever.

In fact, Not really, their fans do rise up, they secretly hide behind the teeennyyy Tiny ashes trophy and they sneak pick to watch their team play. They do support them, quietly, they do trend their players on Twitter, quietly, they do write blogs, quietly, they do invisibly change their Display Pic on Twitter to support them, quietly.

What is the definition of Quietly listed above.

Quietly: “We do care about world cup, we do want our side to win, but if they don’t do well, who cares we actually don’t about the world cup, after all, it’s in subcontinent, we were mentally fatigued, we had stomach flu, it was dew, lots of dew, Broad, yes Broad, His aggression was missing, KP, yes there is no more KP anymore, Ashes fatigue!! + Ashes Mental Fatigue, Swann is still the best spinner in the world, but you know the dew affected him, oohohoh the Flat pitches, how can you win WC in Flat pitches, there was not enough balance for Bat and Ball…. “

STOP

Don’t

Please stop right there, and think about what your team has done. Think about what kind of Cricket your team has provided.

1st Match: The Match that went to almost last over, well, against side that is the weakest in Group B.

2nd Match: The Official Opening of World Cup – A Draw with India

3rd Match: Lose against Strongest of Minnows – Ireland. Gave Recognition to KOB.

4th Match: Epic comeback win against, the “so called complete strongest and most Athletic side of Tournament” – South Africa *cough*

5th Match: Lose against the Bangladesh, another Epic Match. Gave little bit of breathing space to Bangla.

and it’s coming down to last match.

After producing 4 Epic Matches of the tournament, (I reckon wicket or two would have made 5/5 Epic matches),  AND still England have to win last one to qualify.

After going through these much,

no matter how terrible your excuses are… If England still don’t qualify.

Then, I say it will be the Biggest KLPD of the Tournament.

It wouldn’t have been called KLPD of World Cup, before World Cup has started, but it will be after seeing what kind of Matches England was involved in.

I mean one after another BooM BooM BAm!!

What is KLPD = Khade Lund Pe Dhoka (Hindi) means Your erected Penis don’t get to Fuck

Your fan’s genitals are erected, Your players genitals,… well, I bet they are banned by Andy Flower and don’t get to have sex .. but still think about Cricket-Sex of QF. Bed has been prepared. Now, what if you don’t get to fuck in QF !!. That would be shame

and for me

“The Biggest KLPD of the World Cup”


“We don’t Choke .. “We don’t do sledging .. “We don’t play short ball well ..

7 Mar

South Africa: We don’t choke

Australia: We don’t do sledging

India: We don’t play short balls well

Srilanka: We don’t mostly win test matches at home

England: We don’t care about Tourny other than Ashes

Pakistan: We don’t think Afridi is 32 years old

Bangladesh: We don’t think we are minnows

Ireland: We don’t wish to play for England

West Indies: We don’t think we can win like Past West Indian legends

Zimbabwe: We don’t care who govern our Country

Kenya: We don’t think Tikolo’s glasses are cool

Netherlands: We don’t think we are rich of cricketers

New Zealand: We don’t think it’s all about Dictator Daniel Vettory

Canada: We don’t think there is anything wrong with our squad selection