Cricket, Me, and Tardness

24 Jun

It was fun growing up in 90’s. Watching Cricket in 90’s was even better.

But playing cricket, but not just watching, was the best.

For me, there was no such a thing as DravidTards, SachinTards, AustralianTeamTards, KumbleTards, WarneTards etc. etc. I liked all of them. I liked the whole team. I was fan of Nayan Mongia, Ajay Jadeja, even Vijay Bharadwaj, Kambli, Prasad, Srinath, you name it .. everyone. I wasn’t even old enough to evaluate or understand, who was skillful in the team and who was wrongly picked. Nothing sort of thing. I just wanted team to win.

I never had lust of having their autographs or never bought their wall-portraits and fantasied like many teenagers do. I didn’t even ask that I want Sachin’s picture notebook or Rahul’s. Or neither I cared to find out what state is that player from!

Whenever my team won, I got happy. Whenever they didn’t, I felt sad.

It was THAT simple.

As we touched 2000, I grew up. (very cool right 🙂 ) I got wiser. Started to understand even further about the game. 2003 WC came. India played many ODI’s. I didn’t get to see whole 2001 epic Kolkata win against Australia. We had temporary BW TV, as we were shifting to new house. I didn’t even get to watch much of test cricket as my school time was 9-5. I come home, if there is any day-night ODIs, I watch them, IF I had done my homework. There was no such a thing as internet. Forget the highlight, not even score card. Was I even keen enough to check every single scorecard in newspaper, as I am right now? No. Only when India won. I would barely even look at it, if India would have lost.

Then, What was I keen to do at that time, related to cricket? Play cricket. Play real cricket. I used to get at least an hour everyday to play gully cricket. Not only cricket, I played all kinds of games. Marbles, hide and seek, Kabbadi, and there are zillion other games which doesn’t have English name. And of course, if you have read my earlier post, I did Judo as well, in depth.

So, what do I want to say? What is my point in all this?

My point is that I never actually had specification or THAT teen-age sportsman love or that eagerness or that bias feelings like I would be happier if certain individuals have scored runs I would be happier that certain others in the team scored. I mean I felt same happiness. Even right now, I would be happier if certain individuals score run without a doubt, but I always had that kind of feeling that let it had to be Indian batsmen or bowlers.  Let it be from the team I supported from childhood. I never had or even today, I never had ill feelings if one player from the team should score more than others.

There was no that crazy ‘Tardness’ developed in my brain, it has lot to do with my age, very limited media exposure, I had no access or interest in Ranji. Nothing.

It was simple. Team won. Tendulkar scored runs, Kumble took wickets, Jadeja played cameo, Azhar caught splendid catch.

It got even simpler around late 90’s and mid 2000’s. Dravid scored, Ganguli scored, Sachin Scored. They all scored. Tons of runs. Mammoth partnerships. Team won. Yay.

And then enter: Access to internet

Statsguru, Forums, Blogs, Videos, More stats, Ranji trophy numbers, which player come from what state, who are Sachins Dravids Gangulys Kumbles competitors in terms of wickets runs … etc. etc.

It just got messy. You start to wonder, ‘Can player actually do that?’ ‘Is this player better than others?’ ‘Is he really the special one in the team?’

Then you tend to follow game very closely, you tend to compete players within team. You tend to question importance of the players within one single team more than you compare your team player than others.

The Tardness was born.

Has tardness ever entered my soul? Has tardness ever polluted my mind? Has tardness ever made me to hate players within a team?

It wasn’t easy. In rise of Internets, access to scorecards, stats, reading articles, reading zillion hate comments, it wasn’t easy. It just wasn’t easy to pick side. It wasn’t easy to adore just one … just one player from team so badly that you can strip any other player with vicious arguments, backing up with specific knocks or specific bowling attacks or specific situations.

The answer is no.

How can it be? I played cricket more than I watched. I never had access to internet, when my consciousness was strengthening. I didn’t even care about what player is from what state. I just supported team. I still support team.

That’s why I have never let Tardness enter my brain. Yes, I might like watching certain players more than others, but Tardness is different. It’s like teen-age love. It’s an obsession for player, that I have never developed in my brain. I never grew up that way. I was very sane by the time, I had access to internet.

I mimicked Dravid’s batting style personally, loved watching Sachin, thrilled when Ganguly stepped out of the crease to hit 6, said ‘YES’ loudly when Kumble’s googly came at > 90 km/hr crashed into stump, widen my hand in air (afridi-style) when Prasad knocked of Amir Sohail’s off stump etc. etc. The list goes on.

I might have Tardness for team. I am not sure if I have ever insulted or question players within team. I might have defended my players. All my team players, all the time. Hack! I even adored Robin Singh.

But right now, with technology, statsguru, videos, score cards, IPL, Ranji, all things available, growing up without having tardness is almost impossible.

If you were born in 70’s and 80’s, and were aged >6-7 entering 90’s, I am sure it was just easier to avoid tardness, unless you had access or immense interest in Ranji and team selection.

And I am glad that I was never involved or never perceived my team or team players that way. It was just easier supporting whole team, though my team was losing quite often. 😛

Cricket Media and Administration are boring and Fucked up

2 Jun


The Douchebag Media, (you know, who you are)

I have had enough of your = ‘the media’, articles Anti-T20 Anti-ODI Anti-Test, WAIT what? Anti-Test cricket!!! (Scratch that Anti-Test article)

First, you told us Test Cricket is the best form of the game, we all said, yeh, yeh yeh YES absolutely it is. I mean look how hard it is to play! 90 overs under Sun, that pressure of posting huge total, then pressure of bowling out side early, then pressure of posting total again, then pressure of bowling out side again. It’s super pressure game. It takes the shit out of you. But Tea and Lunch comes to the rescue to save you from rigorous work. Very tough. You gotta have stamina to survive that long.

Then, secondly, you told us yeh, test cricket is great but champion of the world has to be decided by WC. So, you told us, winning ODI is as tough as anything in the cricket. You would be top of the world if you win that. (except if you are England Cricket team and till you win the WC). So you write up all great things about WC winning journey, show us interview video of legends of the game, so thrilling to hear, goosebumps and come. Mistyeyes and all that. Yes, Loved it.

Then, the T20 comes. Wait, I have to divide here.

Then, You talk about IPL.

Then, You talk about the rest of the T20 other than IPL.

Let’s first talk about the rest of the T20 other than IPL.

Here is how you talk about it, it’s great they play the tourney, some players should get into the side, ICC T20 WC will be held at such an such places, It’s all cool and all. You know county needs to do something to survive you know, people love it. The kids, parents, have their family time. They take their kids to the game enjoy it, they have fun for the night, it’s just fantastic atmosphere.

Then, they talk about the IPL, Something like this.

“ohhh not again this IPL, Games are run by absolute lunatics I tell you, terrible commentary, they suck up to broadcasters, terrible team selection, if I was them I would have chosen this team, oooohh God! they must tired of flights, ohh I am sure they are exhausted from previous tournament, meh, it’s just terrible pitch you know. Oh btw. did I tell you that this IPL performance doesn’t count. I hate this job. I should rather be covering  something else. Ohh wait test cricket is the hardest form of the game you know, performance here doesn’t get you anywhere. I should rather be covering Ranji Match. Ohhh wait Test squad is announced, that’s what is more important.”

and this is on repeat for 4 years.


You are boring me.

I get it Test Cricket is hard, ODI WC is important. I also get it, the way you totally ignore T20 that is being played in UK county, Australia, Zimbabwe, South Africa, West Indies, but your stomach ulcerate covering IPL.

Yes, I get it. I have been hearing this for 4 fucking years. (And MANY TO COME)

Now, how about some reality check!

How many players actually play IPL and represent your test squad, but they totally suck?

Let’s start with India,

Yes, almost everyone play IPL, because it is Indian Premiere League. They all play good test cricket too. WOh I didn’t see that coming.

Australia: Doug Bollinger, Shane Watson, Mike Hussey and Harris, they are all good. In test sqaud and in IPL, (no, Shaun Marsh is not in the test squad)

South Africa: Smith, Kallis, Abdv, Steyn, Morkel, who is playing bad test cricket from these? No-one

Srilanka: Mahela, Sanga, and Dilshan (meh, at Randiv and Parera) all are good and class of their own. They play both cricket very well.

England: Morgan (only ONE, wohhh I didn’t see that coming)

Did I include all good test playing team?

Oh wait, NewZeland, Pakistan and WI. Oh yeh, I can ignore them because they barely can win Test series at the moment.

Awww, Was I harsh? “Yeh”, Cry me a river, because that’s the truth.

So, let me get this.

You are accusing IPL (and not zillion T20 around) for everything now? Really?

One guy from England, No Pakistani, 3 players from Lanka, One test player (Gayle) from WI, 3-4 Australians, 5 SAfricans = around 14 main players from 8 test playing nation.


Who are rest of them, they are either hurt, Indian kids, Club cricketers who are trying to make their living through playing cricket. Kids who couldn’t get in to national squad or want to get in permanently to their national squad.

Here is what I commented on one of the Cricinfo article.

“I am not sure about players getting noticed, but I am sure about them becoming Ripe sooner than expected. More than 50,000 thousands people around the globe (where 30000 is lone Indian) but nevertheless they stare you,they record your performance, they analyze you, they have spent money on you, and they want you to perform. If you want to give final touch for young players to be ready to face the real world, you have to put them in Hot place. Despite all the heat around you, and you perform and show top class performance, they get reward. ….. I just hope that Good international players don’t become sandwich in between IPL and rest of the Boards, otherwise it will big loss for country more than player himself”

“To be honest, I just thought it can work in reverse too. If you want to get call from IPL auction, you have to perform very good cricket in your respective country as well. No-one is going to call you for an auction if you don’t play responsible cricket for your country. So, if you want to play IPL, then perform well in ODI, perform well in Test, show your technique while you play your domestic games. I just saw Mitch Marsh the kid who just won under 19 wc and he got call from Deccan, what was that ? It was because he was captain of under 19 champion. See all the cricket around world have to do, is to take advantage of stage. If you hate IPL or Indians, they are going to stay away from you, and take full throttle advantage of your hatred and make millions out of it. Love or hate you have to decide, IPL will not stop, take advantage. Use it or Loose it.”

Auction will happen after every 3rd year! And New International players will be picked from what? and Where? from either respective domestic performance or International success. Don’t you get it? 2-3 auctions from now, no-one is going to pick you, if you don’t perform in to your country. Because franchise WILL tussle for ‘good’ players.

Then, why on earth, your tone is so pessimistic douche-y when you are covering cricket.

Okay, let me divert you with something else.

North American media covers MLB, NFL, NHL, MMA, UFC, Olympics, WINTER olympics, NBA, Tennis, Golf you name it ..etc.

Guess what!?

Most of the play offs games are full houses.


Think about it yourselves. How are they managing to attract so many crowd ergo fans?

Many reasons 1) The game is there for long time 2) There are fans of those games 3) There is hidden unity among sports coverage. 4) Big Market. etc. etc.

also, YES, Their Media covering fantastic. They don’t pick on one game from another, like teenage girl dislikes other girl’s hairstyle.

Have you heard, people who cover NBA make fun of NHL or MLB or MLB?

Do they say, meh Dunking is so not pinnacle of athleticism but hitting homerun is? Ever heard of that shit in big ASS front sports-page? Ever heard of anyone dissing Phelps but hailing Lebron James’s Tattoo?

You dumbass, they work together. Sportsmen/women even visit each other games, which even adds more value to it.

And you are sitting in your lazy ass, and typing it out …

“yeh yeh TEST cricket give me goosebumps, empty stands at IPL is because they love Test cricket, and winning ODI WC is greatest shit on the planet but test cricket is the main thing, but I don’t mind watching IPL, because they play with game’s legends’ but it’s still not pinnacle of the game but I also miss Greatest WI side, We have the greatest Test side, T20 performance doesn’t count, ohh and did I tell you that I THInk many games are fixed, I love domestic games more than anything, players should be picked according to that ….”

Stop stop stop being douche-bag lazy hypocrite.

Look around you. Think what are you typing? and how much boring it sounds. Grow up.

Stop fiddling with fan’s mind.

Boards leaders already hate each other, now you don’t add your own gasoline in the game, so game end up burning.

Your job is to report, and cover the story optimistically. You are smothering fans and players.

Both of you, your stupid media covering and stupid egoistic board members.

It looks absolutely childish seeing you throw a stone at someone when you’r sitting on your Parents’ lap.

All you gotta do is to cover and administer one game … one game only. And both of you are failing to do so. I am tired of same old story again and again.

UNITE you dumbass. Or your egoistic approach of dissing other tourny and format will destroy the game. Give enough space to each tournaments. Cover it properly. Talk about one players ability vs other players ability. Stop playing with fan’s mind. Think logically. Innovate your writing, innovate your media covering,

Current example: NBA final and NHL final are both running at the same time at the moment. LOOK both are full houses!!! After they are done, people aren’t going to write “ohhh how can you watch this? we were just exhausted from NHL and NBA .. oh MAN” No, they don’t do that. They have enough fans of every single game, because they ‘COVER’ it good. There is decent enough unity among broadcasters. They don’t diss other tournaments, because they aren’t getting paid for it.

Owner of one franchise doesn’t diss owner of other one. But here in Cricket, we are already freaken divided to start with!!

And guess what? We even do survey, which board is evil! which board is saint!

Fuck OFF

Go back to high-school ..

Indian Employment League DOES excite me

5 May

I wasn’t going to blog, but lately I have read enough of the criticism over IPL. 

And I feel really bad, when Indian writers write their one sided biased lament over IPL.

I mean what is wrong with all of you? Do they have any idea, what is the Indian Population? Have you tracked Indian Cricket history, regarding how many talented cricketers couldn’t make it into side? When is the last time, have you checked employment rate in vastly populated  country like this? How many times have you felt happy for someone else, when they get a real job? 

You might have been annoyed by those band that you see in extrainnings, and asked yourself, Abeeyaar what is the point of that Band inside cricket talk room? But I don’t mind them. Because you know what! there will be hundred more small bands like this in India, who wants to work there. 

Have you ever thought of all this? 

Ever thought, the number of security guards on each match. Ever thought of the companies who made those big sofa chair for #BetaAmbani? Yes, they are getting paid for this. Ever thought how much money P*rn company makes by abusing Women? Ever thought of Human Trafficking? What do you prefer? Pointless Cheerleaders or same Girls doing Streaptease on some bar? In my very 2nd blog, I have clearly stated, that don’t fuck around with economy that cricket brings in and provide hundreds of jobs for people, or I will fuck you up. read again 

I don’t want to portrait my personal stories and personal life experiences explaining how much employment is important and controls almost everything in the world.

Do you know the main reason of terrorism? Go deep down ignoring all fake reasons like politics, religions, up bringing of individuals, countries … and all other crap we read in the news. At the end, you will find, ‘the lack of options available’. Poverty. Unemployment. That’s the main reason.

I poop on your emotions ‘ohhh I am test cricket fan, it’s like poetry when ball swings and take out middle stump, so blessed’

Yay, that’s true. I love it too. But, how many people are bringing food to their table from one test series compare to 5 IPL match?

Are you following Bankruptcies all around the Globe?  Any idea, how much do Gold cost? Forget Gold, women like Gold, no? Tell me, how much Gas prices have shoot up in last 5 years? It’s easy for struggling middle class like me to manage to afford all these, and STILL survive. But, have you seen people queuing for simple Data Entry accounting jobs? Or Have asked any companies how many resume they get per each posting everyday? 

Are you getting it, what I am trying to explain? There are not many ways, people can earn $ doing decent jobs. Human Population is rising at exponential rate. We are estimated to be 9 billions in 2050.

Back to cricket,

What do you prefer other than IPL? 5 ODIs between WI-Pak?  Mammoth County season? You know what I don’t mind both of them, it’s their job, and in fact kind of surviving money, much needed,  for new WI players. So, despite all this and series doesn’t concern me, still I don’t find it pointless as much as people get ready to find pointless stuff on IPL. Why? Is it because you have audience to read you? Or want to act like you are special species? Think practical. What do you want? Another Srilanka-Ind, Ind-Bangla, Ind-Eng (ODI), Eng-Aus etc. etc. or Indian Employment League ergo IPL. There is not enough options in the cricket-world at the moment.

Do I want India vs. Eng or India vs Lanka India Vs SA or India Vs. Aus. or even India vs. Pak even test series at the moment???

Hell NO! Why? because I want to crave for that. I have just seen epic Ind-Lanka, Ind-Aus, and super epic Ind-SA (back to back) and mega epic WC victory of India. Then, how can you choose something else other than normal celebration of Cricket, IPL. I don’t even want to go through how money finishes the economy-circle. Let’s see. If certain players make money through IPL, what do they do with it? They invest it back to their respective countries, which creates/support employment even further.

Cricket has never generated money ergo employment in whole cricket history than IPL has. When you come up with something else or bigger than this for country’s and global economy, let me know. I am not saying everything is so cool with IPL, i.e. I want proper window open up for players + I want Pakistani players there etc. etc. (bat-ball balance issue has been dealt well this year, which I had problem last season)

Okay, that’s all of my rant for this season.

Stop acting too hard that you are the greatest test cricket lover and Cricket is under dark cloud. Well, to me, IPL has been brightness for many job seeking individuals, the small people, who earn their surviving money from it. And, yes, there weren’t enough opportunities before. I guarantee that.

It’s an Indian Employment League. And I always feel excited, when people do decent jobs and survive. 

The Final and Me

1 Apr

So, This is it. Final.

The dream. The Pain. The belief. The Trust. The destiny.

The End. All ends here.

In Mumbai, the dream starts at 2:30 local Indian Time at Wankhede.

I would not like to be in 2nd place now. We are almost there. I know… I know you are sore, guys, you are in pain, mental exhaustion more than physical. Because you can numb your physical exhaustion, but mental exhaustion on top of more mental pressure of ‘what it is to be in the Final and not win’.

Phew. It’s horrible, if that happens.

I want to share my personal sports experience.

I was in around grade 8. I had just won the state championship in Judo, weight 35-40 Kg, beating 6 opponents. So, it wasn’t an easy tournament, I played at home. So, you can say, it looks like I had the home advantage. But, in reality, I didn’t. When almost your whole family comes there to support you, to cheer for you, you can hardly distinguish who is shouting or what is being shouted!

You can recognize their voices, while you are fighting. And THAT can be distracting if you are the emotional kind. But, I defied all that – I beat all 6 of them. I still remember how much Glucose powder and water I was chugging after each fight. I was literally boiling. I couldn’t drink much water because I was on an empty stomach. I was so exhausted when I got on Mats for Medal, The Final Fight.

I couldn’t feel my limbs as much as I wanted to. I couldn’t grip my opponent’s Judogi properly. He was slightly skinnier but taller than me. I had wide shoulders, he had very strong legs, constantly moving. In short, he was quicker than me. His Fight- Body position was slightly leaning FWD, that’s offensive posture.

But I don’t know what happened at the time. I have this thing for Mats. I have this thing for the battlefield. Whenever I get on mats, something happens to me. I become an animal. Even in friendly matches, I had sometimes done very offensive throws on my team-mates. AND yes, I have been slapped/scolded for that kind of approach.

So, anyway, I started to stare at my opponent, and did not let him grip my Judogi for 20-30 seconds.

And then, a sudden burst of Epinephrine started to fire. I went for Morote Seoi Nage. Got Point Yuko, which is not enough to win.

Then again. Same Throw. Point – Yuko. Then again same throw, Point – Koka.

I was just so tired. And Time was done. I had won. I couldn’t believe I had just won the 2nd state championship.

Happy Moments.

Not for long though.

We had to go to a 7-day training camp, including those who came 2nd. All weight categories, to prepare for National.

But here was the problem. There was re-fight between the 1st and 2nd on the 7th day, whoever won that went through to National.


I was warned by my master, that DO NOT EVER SHOW YOUR TACTICS, your strength, your abilities in these 7 days.

But I couldn’t help it. I got on the mats in a practice session. We were practicing how to get out from most severe holds. I had developed so many techniques getting out of holds. Many unorthodoxtechniques, just like MSD’s unorthodox shots. In that friendly practice, I was being held by one ofthe boys who was in 40-45 kg category. He held me so tight. My neck was in severe pain. I started to forget those words from my master (to not expose my strength).

Sadly, that epinephrine thing, Mat thing, the animal thing, kicked in. I pulled off from that hold. Igot out of that hold. Using my unique style. People were stunned. The coach who was training us fornational was stunned.

Everyone clapped. My chest swelled. I smiled inside saying “Yes” “I am the one” “I know I amspecial”.

Unfortunately, this practice session was just the day before final Re-Fight day.

You can sense, inside of my mind, I was confident, so confident that ‘Meh, I will beat him the 2ndtime easily”. A guy who shared a room with me, with other fighters for 6 days, who became friendswith me, training together, playing together, eating together etc.

Also, my whole family traveled to the place a day before the re-match, with all of my Judo-teachers.

From our batch, there were 3 more girls and one boy, me. But, who was the one, they were the most confident about! Me. They knew I had the most amount of skills, strength, and hunger to win this again. That coach who saw me like this in practice session told my master what happened, and what I could do the night before. I was in trouble. He came to me and showed me angry eyes, telling me ‘what on earth was I doing! Showing off! I warned you not to show off!’

I was psyched, I saw my whole family had come to watch this re-match. Even my cousins came to see this. They all surprised me. I was happy, but I got so psyched with all this. I was so confused.

Suddenly the Evil question troubled me for whole night.“Can I actually re-win this again?”

The moment that question started to roam around my lobes, it was like a hideous parasite was roaming around jumping from one lobe to another. I was in shock. My face was like the face of an 80-year old who was suffering from constipation. All other weight categories, knew that ‘Meh this guy will make it for sure’ and we had even started to plan for our great journey ahead going to play national.

But that “Can I actually re-win this again?” – that … dreadful virus … actually parasite in fact, was haunting me. No-one knew about it. Only I knew about it. Only I could feel it.

I was under a clinical depression kind of thing.

And the bubble burst. I got on the mats, I felt I had nothing left in me with all this mental exhaustion. I was going for throws, all half hearted, no strength at all. Couldn’t execute any throws. My eyes were searching for help. I knew I was in trouble. Time was running. My opponent managed to get Yuko point. Only 1:30 left. I was going for fluke throws, nothing was working. I tried at least 4 times that good old Morote Seoi Nage, the one that won me my gold medal. Nothing worked. My opponent was sensing fear in my eyes. It was like he had decoded me in these 7 days. I was losing. My dreams were shattering. I still remember my masters’ attempt to help me do this and that, showing signs, he never does that to anyone. I remember those disappointed faces on my cousin’s eyes, who came specially far away to watch me win so I can go to the national, which was avery big thing. I was in pain. Not physical. Mental.

And it happened. End time bell rang.

I lost.

I was shattered.

After match, my cousins were trying to console me. I was running away from everyone. I wanted an empty place. I wanted an alone place, I could feel that something was going to happen to me.

We had to line-up for a resign letter from this camp. Official letter that stated that our Camp wasover, and we were going home.

I burst in tears there. I cried like, I never did in my entire life …. till today I haven’t cried like that. I was in grade 8. But still, I won one more state championship before this, I went to national beforethis. This was my 2nd. But I cried.

I was given nickname “Parshurama” by my Master. Why? Google that name. Google that Giant and look how that character has been portrayed and described.

“Parshuram” cried like a baby that day.


The most dreadful day of my life. I still remember that I cried and saying “I don’t want to go home, I want to go to the national”.

But, you can see that I didn’t actually deserve to win. I was mentally weak.

So, what’s the connection of this with Cricket? I just wanted to give glimpse of this Final and Players, try to see from a different perspective what competitors go through days or hours before big match. I know I was just a tiny boy and it is like dirt compared to a massive cricket world cup final and team India.

However, the intensity of pain that will be felt from loss, will not be that different.

So, I wish Team India to pull this off. Don’t make the mistakes I did.

Please, don’t be psyched by occasion.

Please, try to ignore those billions’ expectations.

Do the right thing.

And the right thing is

to Win it

For yourselves.

This is it.

The Final. 

EDIT: P.S. – Thank You Team India For winning the World Cup. Edited at 4/20/2011

The Most Heated Cricket Argument EVER, Who is the greatest Batsman?

1 Apr

Listen closely they make a great point, I have never seen anyone making this much sense till date. These guys know their cricket. I thought I knew cricket … phew. What an ignorant I was. Now, I am convinced after this argument, who is the greatest batsman. Please, listen carefully.

P.S. – I can assure you they are not talking about Saurav Ganguli, they are talking about someone else.

April Fool 😛

Mini-Final Mega-Final Final-Final

26 Mar

So, here we are … trying super hard to act like ‘we-don’t-care-about-upcoming-mother-of-all-matches’ and trying super hard to concentrate on our daily activities.

But, It’s not working right!

I know I know. This is what Cricket does to you.

I also know almost everyone (other than few Indians) want India to NOT win this World Cup. Many reasons. Quite understandable.

I know, our team has become punching bag after Australians, so I understand that.

So, look how many finals India has to win to be called champions.

1) Mini-Final vs Australia

Why Mini-Final! Because Tim Nielsen said so. Not, exactly. India had to beat biggest and most consistent WC thumping team on the Human Planet.

They defy Australians. Mighty Australians. Think about it for a sec.

Still Number 1 ODI side in ranking.

Was coming with 6-1 win to England.

With line-up of Lee, Johnson, and Tait (Average speed over 140 km each).

Ricky Ponting.

Shane Watson.

Hussey Brothers, Recent decent form of Micheal Clarke, weird aggressive stroke play of Haddin, Could blast at any time Cameron ‘Bear’ White.

And lastly, They just had a Hat-trick in WCs, ALSO, were defending champion.

These were enough reasons, they could have STILL win this world cup.

It looks easy to talk about it now, that ‘hey, they were beaten by Pakistan, and also were beaten by India in Warm Match’. But, remember India was batting 2nd. And 260 wasn’t bad target to push for win.

They tried their best, argued, sledged, fought, bled blood.

But, phew!! India won. It wasn’t easy.

2) Mega-Final vs Pakistan

Mega Final is next up. Mother of All matches. The Jugular of Asian Cricket. Gold Mine of Cricket. Sons and Daughters of Cricket.

The India vs Pakistan. In Semi-final.

First Time ever in ODI World Cup history.

Pakistan has the most complete bowling side. In form bowling side. They beat Srilanka and Australia in their Group stages. Almost beat NZ (Kamran Akmal). So, it’s fair to say, they are literally unbeaten side.

India has home pressure. Never lost WC match, but never won game in Mohali against Pakistan.

It will be another, the toughest match, India will ever play in their WC history. Even tougher than 1983 final.

And at the End, if India somehow manages to win that one then,


3) Final-Final vs Srilanka or New Zealand

And that might possibly be the toughest match mentally.

Because, it’s final. Final-Final. You win -> You will be called champions. The Champions of the World.

Doesn’t matter who comes in Final.

That team will bring it!

So, if India manage to win this world cup, they should be called winner of 3 Finals.

1) Mini-Final, which they have won against Australia

2) Mega-Final, which they have to win against Pakistan

3) Final-Final, against Srilanka or New Zealand.


Now, how is that going to happen?

Do you need Heart? Take Saffa Cricket Fans’ Heart

25 Mar

Are you suffering with Cardiomyopathy, Cardiomegaly, Floppy Valvular diseases, Endocarditis, Heart Failure, or Myocardial Ischemia and suffering from any irreversible heart damage?

Are you in need of new heart?

Take South African Cricket fans heart.

It will be Super Healthy and most tolerable heart on the planet.

I don’t want to go through statical analysis on their sudden lack of Oxygen to vital organs due to sudden irreversible squeeze of …

Well, what ever…

Just make sure you understand the immense strength of South African Heart.

Strong. Athletic. Totally immune to any hypoxic injuries. Especially Suffocating one.

Now, make sure that heart is not the heart of any of their Cricketers.

Because that would be bad transplantation.

As history suggests, SA players have the weakest hearts on the planet but their fans have strongest heart.

Yes Yes .. It’s ironic. But it’s truth. All the testings were done through out WC history, is right there in front of you.

So, Donate your heart if you are South African fan, I mean sign up for donation at least. They are very rare and can lengthen the life for needy ones. If you are not South African fan and are into watch South African cry, then I suggest you to donate your eyes, or at least sign up, because you must be having wicked eye to see that pain without feeling pain for them.

So, in short, best healthy heart award goes to South African Heart.


P.S. – if you are compulsive 24/7 meat eater this award is not valid.

India is ready for QF. Playing Raina not bad thing.

21 Mar

Yes, You heard it right.

India is ready for QF.

Sehwag Sachin Gautam Kohli Yuvraj all had decent bat in 6 matches.

Zak, Bhaji, Munaf had good days except in few crunch moments they went for 10+.

And now Add RAshwin in the mix.

+Add surprise bowling package Yuvi is providing.

Yuvi is flighting bowl perfectly from beginning. He rarely bowls shortish delivery like he usually does. And like Yusuf does in his 65% or more deliveries.

That Puts Yuvi among Strike or Main bowler.

So, Sachin Viru, Kohli, Gauti, Yuvi, Zak, Bhaji, Munaf, RAshwin 9 players good outing with bat and bowl.

10th -> MSD, didn’t get to bat much but he had good days with captaincy and one blunder or may be it wasn’t blunder but wasn’t positive. However, he had great times behind stump. I don’t think he dropped any catches or missed any stumping. 8 dismissals, and I bet among 5 catches many came of slow bowlers.

So, now it’s coming down to 11th.

Yusuf had Okish days with bowl. Good with field, not so good with bat.

It’s not his fault entirely. He is innocent ManBeast after all.

So, what should be our line-up against Australia.

I personally prefer Raina ahead of Yusuf against Australia especially.

Why! Main reason is the Raina against Australia.

For some reason, I think Australians rate Raina very high. Their mentality might be weak bowling against him. Short ball thing is fluke. What are the chances of Short balls working well in Ahd.! It’s not about short balls. It’s the worry of playing long innings. Raina has played long innings more in international matches than Yusuf. If we are 3-4 wickets down early on, which is more likely against Australia, we need someone to stay on crease to play out 50 overs. That’s where I see Raina being ahead than Yusuf.

Yusuf is an X-factor. It is unlikely that he will play anchor role. Raina has been dynamic. He can change his roles. Him being in CSK, might have gone against him, and might have been culprit of sledges among cricket-circle. But I rate his batting in ODI way ahead. He comes in top 3 as a fielder, as well. Expect him to force many run-outs and stop many runs in cover region (as you saw him fielding for Viru – Sachin hehehe)

Another thing why I want him in, the way he bowls. Bhajji right arm off. RAshwin right arm off. Yusuf right arm off. Raina right arm off. Although, I think due to weirdness of Raina’s bowling style, and un-predictive bowling line-length. Raina might surprise batsman or force batsman to go after him. Yusuf is stump to stump very predictive so far. Though good economy might make MSD to go ahead with Yusuf.

And last thing is, Raina is left hander. It does make a difference. There are not many left handed, young players who play cover drives and over midwicket in cow corner as good as Raina. It will force Punter to make mistakes in setting field in crunch situation.

So, I don’t mind if Raina plays on Thursday instead of Yusuf.

So, this will be my playing XI on Thursday. In that batting order.

Sehwag Sachin Kohli/Gauti Yuvraj MSD Raina RAswin Bhajji Zak Munaf

Good Luck.

And yeah please beat Australia, so they finally stop winning World Cups.

To, Dear MSD, …

18 Mar


Dear MSD,

Hi, I am knowledge_eater aka Knowledge_Poop, a curious cricket follower, cricket lover, cricket player and mere Bloger.

I have always been fond of you, and your captaincy. Why! because you have improved and transform from coal to diamond in least amount of time in Cricket History. Some say you are lucky, some say you have good side, some say you are defensive, some say you are aggressive, some say … oh well, people say, what they think, because they care. At the end of the day, cricket might be the winner, but we all want our team to be winner.

I think your captaincy always has plan with everything. Your decisions have always something to prove. Your decisions always have plan B. It is like an algorithm attach to it. If this and this will be the condition, this and that will be your next step. There have been many occasions where you have change your bowler, and instantly you have received a wicket. If that happens in a match or two, it’s fine, but I have seen it happening in many matches.

I like the way you speak behind the stump, there is a combination of request and order as a captain in your tone. I like that. I also like the way how have you managed to keep things almost uncontroversial for media, (here and there fake news reporting, or fake taunting regarding few players doesn’t count as a controversy).

And well of course, you have won a world cup.

And when newbie captain wins a world cup, it’s not fluke, a final tickle by Misbah might be fluke, but being undefeated for whole tournament wasn’t a fluke for sure.

That means, you had hidden leadership skill all along, and now it has become full blown full time job.

So, here is my request, before Media will eat you up alive, and they will if you do any more blunders or will do something courageous but result will be negative. Because, it has already started to happen.

1) Please, include RAshwin in playing XI

2) Do not give Yusuf Pathan bowling in first 20 overs, especially don’t give him so batsman get set in meantime and can easily play your non-part timers, whom you keep it late for slog overs. If you are so tempted to give him over, don’t include him in your side, take Raina, so in a way you don’t give him ball, or you rather give it to Bhajji or RAshwin.

3) Sit out Nehra, he is down on confidence, this is not the right time to make him prove the point. He might end up bowling too many extras in huff and puff.

4) Please, play Kohli one-down or at least at number 4. You can’t ignore him coming in with very good form into World Cup. Yes, Yuvi is a match winner, but Yuvi is still Yuvi. He is better finisher than starter. Yes, Man Beast is Beast, but he is innocent Beast after all.

5) I like the way you have used Munaf, so don’t change that.

6) I like the way you have used Zak as well, so be prepare for Plan B if he is going for runs, or batsman see him off.

7) I don’t think you are using Bhaji properly, so if you take RAshwin, you will have two options for bowler to play attacking role. If you use both of them at both ends, then batsman have to go after either of them, that’s when we can start smelling wicket. Yes, they are almost the same kind of bowler, but well, how many batsman around the globe are comfortable with spinners in crunch matches!

8 ) And finally, don’t trust your Tail. Because, it is literally tail.

So, thank you for listening.

And I can see the swords are out against you, I can smell it, a mistake from here, will cause mayhem against you, so I am just warning you.




P.S. – I also like the way you have improved your skill of winning Toss and please tell your batsmen to not leave anything for you and finish the job, since you have enough to worry about.


Englund on verge of KLPD, will they avoid it!?

12 Mar

I know, I know what you are thinking, a team that lost against Bangladesh and Ireland, with one of the worst bowling Average of the tournament. With Matt Prior. With injury hit side, KP, some people think it’s good injury. With team, whose best bowler is Tim Bresnan!!

Why do they deserve to get qualified!!

I mean think about it.

England were literally considered as almost minnows in ODI, yes, their bowlers have terrible record in one day cricket.

Do they have history in World Cup … well, they don’t, they never won World Cup. Had Good side till late 80’s and early 90’s.

Then, nothing really.

Even their fans know they don’t stand chance winning any kind of ODI world cup. Ever.

In fact, Not really, their fans do rise up, they secretly hide behind the teeennyyy Tiny ashes trophy and they sneak pick to watch their team play. They do support them, quietly, they do trend their players on Twitter, quietly, they do write blogs, quietly, they do invisibly change their Display Pic on Twitter to support them, quietly.

What is the definition of Quietly listed above.

Quietly: “We do care about world cup, we do want our side to win, but if they don’t do well, who cares we actually don’t about the world cup, after all, it’s in subcontinent, we were mentally fatigued, we had stomach flu, it was dew, lots of dew, Broad, yes Broad, His aggression was missing, KP, yes there is no more KP anymore, Ashes fatigue!! + Ashes Mental Fatigue, Swann is still the best spinner in the world, but you know the dew affected him, oohohoh the Flat pitches, how can you win WC in Flat pitches, there was not enough balance for Bat and Ball…. “



Please stop right there, and think about what your team has done. Think about what kind of Cricket your team has provided.

1st Match: The Match that went to almost last over, well, against side that is the weakest in Group B.

2nd Match: The Official Opening of World Cup – A Draw with India

3rd Match: Lose against Strongest of Minnows – Ireland. Gave Recognition to KOB.

4th Match: Epic comeback win against, the “so called complete strongest and most Athletic side of Tournament” – South Africa *cough*

5th Match: Lose against the Bangladesh, another Epic Match. Gave little bit of breathing space to Bangla.

and it’s coming down to last match.

After producing 4 Epic Matches of the tournament, (I reckon wicket or two would have made 5/5 Epic matches),  AND still England have to win last one to qualify.

After going through these much,

no matter how terrible your excuses are… If England still don’t qualify.

Then, I say it will be the Biggest KLPD of the Tournament.

It wouldn’t have been called KLPD of World Cup, before World Cup has started, but it will be after seeing what kind of Matches England was involved in.

I mean one after another BooM BooM BAm!!

What is KLPD = Khade Lund Pe Dhoka (Hindi) means Your erected Penis don’t get to Fuck

Your fan’s genitals are erected, Your players genitals,… well, I bet they are banned by Andy Flower and don’t get to have sex .. but still think about Cricket-Sex of QF. Bed has been prepared. Now, what if you don’t get to fuck in QF !!. That would be shame

and for me

“The Biggest KLPD of the World Cup”