My Bowlers Don’t Get Credit and I don’t like it

Yeh, that’s right … This is Angry Post … so if you are batsman or masturbater-kind over glorious cover drives … FO. 

All Of you … Every single Indian of You … cricket lover of you are guilty of this sin … those who said India produces Great batsmen only. 

FUCK YOU.

“Ooohh wow Great WI bowlers … legends. Oooh Great Pakistani Duo. Ooooh Oooh Murali. OOoo Australian Bowlers …. Ooooh Dale Styen. Oooohh English bowlers in English Condition”. 

 

Shut Up. 

Who the fuck … who the fucking fuck has been taking 20 wickets from 2000-2011. My Dady? No! Your Daddy? No. Then, Shut up your mouth … you have cavity. 

India has played 42 test series 23 WON 10 Draw series = 33 = not lost. 33 out of 42 test series NOT LOST. 

Did your batsman come down from hell and took 20 freaken wickets???? NO.

My Bowlers Did. Yes .. Those Skinny Bastards. Those Skinny Bastards also .. had to bat and bared taunting from commentators the way they bat … the shady techniques they have … laughed at while they took a rapid signals to get off the strike after bowling under ugly sun. (I hope Sun doesn’t read this)

How many times your ‘batsmen’ … your 3 Gods + Your Dasher … Bowl and helped taking 20 wickets? Once … thrice .. I will give you 5 tests. Then … who took those wickets? My Daddy? Your Daddy? NO .. You? NO … My Skinny Bastards. 

Let say you have full respect for Kumble. I agree. But what after him? Did we crash like Aus did Post-Warne? Did we ..? No right! 

Were there only Mammoth BATTERS responsible for those wins? 

You rated them recently … Gave them least score … gave Australia FULL mark. Then, Worshiped Dale Styen. Masturbate over English bowlers in English Condition .. but WTF happened in WC. 

Oh WOW the WORST rated bowling team WON the world CUP. Didn’t they? 

You You You … Pseudo supporter of Indian bowlers. You haven’t done great in giving credit to my bowlers too. One say Zak is God, rest are meh! Really?, Zak had done great against Aus and Bangla in last 3-4 years. What about other series? What have you done?

You said ‘Oh Oh Ishant is inconsistent, IPL has ruined him, Oh oh Bhajji should have been dropped, He is SO bad that he is dragging our team down, oh oh Plaha sucks, Oh Oh Sree .. ‘he is Lunatic’ ‘Overrated bowler’ He is more of an actor than performer, Ojha oh we don’t respect left arm spinner, they ‘AREN’T’ actually real spinner, Munaf!? ‘He has become spinner’  … 

Are you getting it what I am trying to say?

Put one hand on your heart, look at the pitches my bowlers bowled at …  look at the scorecard for last 5 years. I say, look at the score card for even whole decade. And tell me, are you doing enough justice to my bowlers. 

Are my bowlers (plant) lost among three giant batsmen (trees)? Has proper sun-light reached them? Shouldn’t they be praised more in Media, because they are the one who took 20 wickets, no?  for 32 NO LOSS test series? 

What is more easy … playing 200+ dot balls and be MOM or bowling 1oo deliveries running hard … jumping hard .. and still occasionally been asked to play ‘Night Watchman’ to shield your batsman? Just tell me now, what is easier? 

My Bowlers are Work Horses. They are like factories, who never say no, till their system failure due to overload. They are Stallions. Your Batsman are Just Bull Dogs. 

And I like my Stallions as much as I like my Bull Dogs. And you should too. 

– By Angry Knowledge_Eater’s Bowler’ Mind.

 

 

Do you need Heart? Take Saffa Cricket Fans’ Heart

Are you suffering with Cardiomyopathy, Cardiomegaly, Floppy Valvular diseases, Endocarditis, Heart Failure, or Myocardial Ischemia and suffering from any irreversible heart damage?

Are you in need of new heart?

Take South African Cricket fans heart.

It will be Super Healthy and most tolerable heart on the planet.

I don’t want to go through statical analysis on their sudden lack of Oxygen to vital organs due to sudden irreversible squeeze of …

Well, what ever…

Just make sure you understand the immense strength of South African Heart.

Strong. Athletic. Totally immune to any hypoxic injuries. Especially Suffocating one.

Now, make sure that heart is not the heart of any of their Cricketers.

Because that would be bad transplantation.

As history suggests, SA players have the weakest hearts on the planet but their fans have strongest heart.

Yes Yes .. It’s ironic. But it’s truth. All the testings were done through out WC history, is right there in front of you.

So, Donate your heart if you are South African fan, I mean sign up for donation at least. They are very rare and can lengthen the life for needy ones. If you are not South African fan and are into watch South African cry, then I suggest you to donate your eyes, or at least sign up, because you must be having wicked eye to see that pain without feeling pain for them.

So, in short, best healthy heart award goes to South African Heart.

 

P.S. – if you are compulsive 24/7 meat eater this award is not valid.

My 3rd Day of Cape Town on Twitter January 4th 2011

“zzz” I wasn’t actually sleeping.

“More off that please.” When Sachin played pull shot to Tsotsobe

“Use the feet against Harris, he is at your feet.” Harris is was so easy to play when you come forward, so I tweeted it. Seeing him getting bounce, because of his height.

“Captown Ghost is still sleeping though.” I was just trying to compare this inning with Sachin’s 169 (which is my all time favorite.

“A guy just tickle-kick a girl to let her know she is on camera!! Dude a respect for a lady please?” I just saw a guy friendly kicked girl, I never kicked girl in my life. Why do you even want to kick a girl anyway!

“Polly is pawning Mike Haysman lol #cricket” Pollock was explaining Tsotsobe’s foot problem. Mike Haysman made a blunder. But, Polly politely corrected him.

“And the candy scream by Tso TSo” Tsotsobe cried when his edged went to 4.

“Bhajji watching this. ?” Few bowls (2) were turning enough by Paul Harris to beat the batsman.

“Scrambled seam #ftw”  Tsotsobe was using scrambled seam short-good length wide pitches to Sachin, and he wasn’t timing it before of Akward pace and bounce from Scrambled seam.

“That wasn’t an edge” Steyn laughed and everyone appealed for an edge, but it wasn’t an edge, umpire rightly got that one.

“Spinbhajan Singh.” I retweeted this. @bigfatphoenix aka Anand Ramachandran

“I am sure others have mentioned it already, India has always played with 4 bowlers.” Sarcastic tweet against commentators claiming Kallis’ bowling will be missed.

“@Slbry That’s why there is captain who can manage 4 bowlers when demanded.” My Reply to this tweet “@Knowledge_Poop Those accustomed to 5 will feel pinched with 4.”

“JP Duminney just stopped his captain’s shot. He should be nervous now.” JP was on for Kallis fielded really well, stopped many runs of Sachin, who was his captain for Mumbai Indians.

“VVS is the word.” VVS smashed 4 to Paul Harris.

“Google Australian Dingo go to images click on first photo.” Do this, you will be surprised 😛

“Peterson is for batting in my fantasy team. Easy there with bowling average. Son.” He was leaking runs. He was in my fantasy team.

“WTF” VVS’ run-out.

“You mother …” Frustration by the way he was run-out.

“WTF VVS was doing, standing and watching. WTF” Frustration after watching replay.

“@AltCricket My 60% hits. :)” reply from @AltCricket @Knowledge_Poop haha you must be proud… who reply to me for my google Australian Dingo Tweet.

“And the crowd is showing their real ass douche character chanting and clapping adding pressure. SHUT UP” Against crowd, SRT was in 90’s.

“Too tall bowler to hit the stump.” Morne Morkel

“Che is protecting SRT. Nice I am off to bed. I will explode. zzz” Pujara took a single to retain the strike, before lunch was called. And I wasn’t sleeping.

“Move Aside Wasim Akram, New Kid is in town? His name is Dale Steyn Too early?” Steyn’s delivery to Pujara just eclipsed Wasim akram’s great delivery, which was given not-out. It swung a LOT.

“Still Captown Ghost is sleeping.” You know what I meant there. 🙂

“Bloody Fighter Plane” Styen’s wicket to Dhoni

“@SpiceBoxofEarth Swann’s strike rate in this ashes has been 75+” I tweeted on @SpiceBoxofEarth Dileep Premachandran’s Tweet.

“I keep reading references to Swann as the world’s best bowler. Not on the planet I inhabit. There’s Steyn, and then daylight.”

“Well that’s one way you can loose the bowl, The Sehwag’s way” Sehwag once in his domestic match said to his partner, when they were having trouble with swing the bowl was producing. He said something like to his partner. We have to loose the bowl. His partner surprised and said what. Then, Sehwag just smashed the bowl right out of the park. So, they lost the bowl. Thus, lost the swing. Bhajji was smashing it that time so I tweeted it’s The Sehwag’s way.

“First attempt by Morne to disturb someone and he tried Sachin” I have never seen Morne Sledge in the whole match, or do anything in  whole match. Sachin was taking single and Morne widened his arm so Sachin can’t take single. It looked friendly obstruction. But, Morne wasn’t laughing.

“They appealed when he didn’t nick it” Appeal which was turned down, and Steyn didn’t appeal properly when Sachin seem to have nicked it. It was not-out clearly when they appealed it properly.

“WOWWW Ian GOuld I am your fan” Ian Gould’s decision, when Steyn’s one of many unplayable bowl passed the out-side edge but kissed the stump but didn’t dislodge the bails. Speed of bowl was 138km. In real time, you have to be very good to catch that.

“@straightpoint I can’t believe it how did he get this one.” My Tweet to @straightpoint pankaj sharma’s tweet “sensational decision…”

“ASHES can gift me the trophy still it doesn’t beat the intensity of this match. So I will decline it.”

“lol… when you can’t dislodge the bails at 138kph, when the fuck can you…. bastard superman, how do you do it?” My Retweet of @achettup

“Now I can go to pee” Over change, wasn’t moving. Match was intense.

“SRT is taking Steyn when India at only 6 down. The highest possible tribute to a bowler. #Newlands #cricket” My Retweet of @cricketingview Kartikeya Date

“Best bowler in the world vs best batsman in the world. Test cricket at its very finest.” My Retweet of @AltCricket

“I’m not bothered about the result. In terms of quality, this is the best Test I’ve watched in years. #cricket #Newlands” My Retweet of @SpiceBoxofEarth Dileep Premachandran

“@SpiceBoxofEarth Durban wasn’t bad either. So, will say this whole series has been fantastic.” My reply to his tweet above.

“Captown ghost is slightly moving his eyes”

“I haven’t slept for whole night.”

“Scrambled Seam SCREW THis Tso Tso”

“@straightpoint I just might if we don’t pull it off. Hard work is done on this. :(” My reply to@straightpoint’s tweet “you won’t regret it either… RT @Knowledge_Poop: I haven’t slept for whole night.”

“Hahah Sachin to Bhajji: Bichme Khada rahe (stand in the middle)”

“and in the meantime… please find a time to take a bow to the curator of this pitch… #newland” My Retweet of @Straightpoint

“Captown ghost slightly opening an eye” Sachin was hitting runs comfortably.

“I’m looking for all those folks who say Sachin has never played a crucial innings when it mattered… you can come out now as hypocrits” My Retweet of @achettup

“@achettup They aren’t hypocrites they are Bacteria, they grow in certain temperature, when he plays and other fails.” My reply to his tweet.

“WTF is this guy on?” Paul Harris was given bowl.

“@straightpoint He is middling everything for last 45 min.” Response to @straightpoint: “this would be one of the most ugly yet most satisfying 100 of sachin…”

“@cricketwballs watching test match right now?” To JRod

“@paddlesweep And he is no way looking like wants to retire anytime soon. :)” My tweet to @paddlesweep’s tweet

“For the record, we never said, in our 500 or so posts, that Sachin doesn’t play well under pressure. So come out you fuckwits, and watch!” His response “@Knowledge_Poop People like Him and Kallis are needed to be revered specially when greats like punter are acting all twattilicious.” My response: “@paddlesweep They both are inspiring each other”

“hahha” Bhajji hit 4 to Paul Harris

“THat turned” This one turned. (he turned 2)

“@Knowledge_Poop Harris turned a ball? #apocalypse #rsavind” @MeikoElektra Meiko Georgouras asked

I replied in later tweet @MeikoElektra Shit Happens. 🙂

“K I am feeling hangover without Alcohol”

“@HomerTweets Honor. Btw. You are my top follower as well. So double honor.”

“62 more to go.”

“Btw. I am not tweeting after this test.”

“@Knowledge_Poop oye… only 162 to go… don’t we need lead… ;)” @straightpoint asked

I replied “@straightpoint 62 to go to level it Sir. Real Match Start afterwards. :)”

“This is going to go only one way. Is Par ya us Par #hindi” Steyn was brought back into attack Bhajji was facing.

“OMG US par it went” Bhajji hit a six to Steyn. It was very well connected. The bowl wasn’t short, it was on a good length. Hard to hit those like this so easily.

“It was so beautiful that he started crying” Bhajj got something in his eyes.

“@DaleSteyn62 LOL” Yup, I teased him of seeing Bhajji hitting six to the world best bowler

“@achettup LOL” my response to @achettup’s tweet “oh man… I can see another monkeygate incident coming up at this rate… Sachin and Bhajji together again…”

“@BugsAndBails And he is missing” my response to @BugsAndBails Rahul B  “Did someone notice SRT hasn’t scored for like 15 balls now? Bhajji has climbed to 33, SRT stuck on 134.” He replied “@Knowledge_Poop Yeah. But has been playing for around 300 balls. Seems tired.” I replied “@BugsAndBails He was middling everything before Bhajji got whole lot ofstrike he lost strike and missing.Well He can’t tire,now, lot to play”

“SRT now has more Test hundreds in SA than any other visiting batsman – 5. Hammond and Harvey have 4.” My retweet of cricketingview Kartikeya Date

“@paddlesweep That delivery just beat this onehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fL6Bb1HBrIU Unplayable.” My response to

@paddlesweep Paddle Sweep’s frustrated tweet seeing scorecard “I am worried about the next generation indian team. WTF Pujara. See you after tea”

“Zzz”

The end

I could not watch whole day match.

But this was my Golden Moment of Tweeting and Watching Cricket.

We can forget Tweets and Blogs, but memories are unforgettable.

Thank You India and South Africa for these memories.