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“We don’t Choke .. “We don’t do sledging .. “We don’t play short ball well ..

7 Mar

South Africa: We don’t choke

Australia: We don’t do sledging

India: We don’t play short balls well

Srilanka: We don’t mostly win test matches at home

England: We don’t care about Tourny other than Ashes

Pakistan: We don’t think Afridi is 32 years old

Bangladesh: We don’t think we are minnows

Ireland: We don’t wish to play for England

West Indies: We don’t think we can win like Past West Indian legends

Zimbabwe: We don’t care who govern our Country

Kenya: We don’t think Tikolo’s glasses are cool

Netherlands: We don’t think we are rich of cricketers

New Zealand: We don’t think it’s all about Dictator Daniel Vettory

Canada: We don’t think there is anything wrong with our squad selection





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Bangladesh West Indies Stoned Bus Physics

4 Mar

Ever wonder why Cricketers should thank Physics Laws at Post Match Presentation!

Respect Physics

Respect Physics

Ever wonder why I almost failed my Drawing Classes from Grade 4th to Grade 7th!

India-England Tie made Group B Spicier

1 Mar

So, there was an Epic Battle between India and England on Sunday. I am still getting over the hangover of excitement from that day.

100 overs of battle and eventually it was tie. It doesn’t happen everyday or once a month. May be barely once a year, if you are lucky. But this doesn’t often in WC. You will have to wait for at least 3-4 years to happen something like that again.

So, it was kind of match, people will remember for few years, at least match’s outcome will be followed very keenly as Group stage progresses.

So,

England play Ireland Tomorrow at Banglore (England will win 5 points)

Netherlands – SA at Chandigadh ( SA will win 4 points)

Bangladesh – West Indies at Mirpur (Bangla or West Indies will win 4 points)

England – South Africa at Chennai (South Africa or England will win 7 points if England win 6 points if SA)

India – Ireland at Banglore (India will win 5 points)

India – Netherlands at Delhi (India 7 points)

Ireland – West Indies at Chandigarh (WI 6 points, if loose against Bangla 4 points)

Bangladesh – England at Chittagong (England 9 points, if loose against SA 7 points)

India – South Africa at Nagpur (India 7 points or SA 8 points)

Bangla -Netherlands at Chittagong ( Bangla 6 points, if loose against WI 4 points)

Bangla – South Africa at Mirpur (South Africa 10 points, if loose against England 9 points)

and Finally

India – West Indies (India 9 points, if loose against SA 7 points)

So, it’s quite clear that If England India and South Africa loose against each other but win against others, they will clearly make it to QF. And there will be tussle between Bangla and WI for 4th spot.

However,

a single match lose against so called “Minnows” will make things very very interesting. And I am afraid it can cause major upset for India and England. Why not South Africa, it’s because they have to loose twice. If south africa manages to loose both against India and England they will have 6 points assuming they will win others. Even with 6 points SA will make it since there Run Rate will be most likely higher.

But any lose for England or India will cause big headache and Bangla or WI have to loose against Netherlands or Ireland respectively for England or India still make it into QF.

So, this Tie is very happy happy news for Bangladesh and WI. They can both make it in to QF if they manage 2 win from here. Don’t count Ireland out of competition as well if they manage 3 win. Netherlands doesn’t look like having chance anymore. If they had beaten England it would have been major scene for England. But fortunately it didn’t happen.

Now, I am sure lot of India and England teams haters are giggling. “Yes Yes Yes Tie”

Well, don’t. Because they both can make it to QF, all they have to do is win rest of the matches, only one lose against SA can be affordable. Their lose against WI or Bangla will make things interesting, because that might make them fight for 4th spot.

People think India doesn’t deserve to be in QF, if they can’t defend 338 mammoth score like this! Well, may be they are right. But if Bangladesh or West Indies don’t take this opportunity and win 2 more matches from here then they don’t deserve to be in QF as well.

I apologize if I confused you, and I know it’s too early to make any assumptions.

But this group is still wide open.

Only Netherlands seem to be missing out from here. Rest can still claim spot in top 4.

My assumption is that India England West Indies and South Africa will make it to top 4, seeing how their bowling is shining and their run-rate bump up. May be match between Bangla and West Indies might decide who will go.

So, when Indians whine about FUDRS, please accept our regrets and complains, because that one blunder in important match like this might decide who will go through QF.

Who wants to win World Cup for whom?

25 Feb

India wants to win World Cup for Sachin Tendulkar

Srilanka wants to win World Cup for Murali

South Africa wants to win World Cup for Kallis

NewZealand wants to win World Cup for Vettori

Kenya wants to win Wold Cup for Tikolo

Australia wants to win World Cup for Ponting

WestIndies wants to win World Cup for Brian Lara

Ireland wants to win World Cup for Eoin Morgan

Netherlands wants to win World Cup for Ryan Ten Doeschate

England wants to win World Cup for Stuart Broad

Bangladesh wants to win World Cup for Saurav Ganguli

Zimbabwe wants to win World Cup for Andy Flower

Pakistan wants to win World Cup for Ijaz Butt

Canada wants to win World Cup for Celine Dion and Micheal Fox and Sidney Crosby


“I will come to your house, and beat you up..”

22 Feb

Have you been to High school fights? Neighborhood fights?

If you say yes, then you will exactly know the meaning of title of this blog.

I am huge admire of  “Ahimsa”, but the thing is, as a mammals, and as a Homo sapience, I carry a trait of competitor. I LOVE to compete. Another thing is, I produce “Testosterone”. Yeh, so it gets into my nerve, and produce stuff. Forces me to do stuff.

Yes, woman may call it a mutation. But, comeon!! it’s good mutation right!! Who will give them perfect massage with our muscular fingers, if we, the Man, with Testosterone, don’t produce more muscle mass. Right!

Wait what! Ohh ok scratch the beginning.

Where was I, Yes, the title, fight, school fights.

I had been in to many friendly unfriendly school fights, I used to beat up my younger brother a lot. And because of that, I used to get beaten up by my Dad a LOT. And because of that I used to get into fights a lot in school. I mean sometimes in organized fights.

Like you know, in lunch recess, 1) you find out that one division of the class was mocking/teasing/flirting our divisions Girl. (Division means let say you are in 10th standard then we use to have 10A 10B 10C etc. I was always in “C” The best division ever. Trust me, it’s best everywhere all over the world. ) 2) You find out some dude just did a “parental swear”. I don’t know about now, but to me, at that time, my 99% of fights were regarding this. I can’t consume parental swear for some reason. Even if friend used to tell me in friendly manner, “you mother …..” I can still flip and I can easily say, that is uncool dude, and not an acceptable word.

Yeah, so it happened a lot. When young student of standard 5th, me, learning to fit in with this ‘parental swearing’ business, it was hard for me to ignore those pricks. And I already said, in an Alternative Story, I wrote earlier, how I hated bullies, who were harassing my brother. So, I used to make an outrageous, unbelievable and breath-taking “Dhamkiyas” = “Revenge Taking Angry Threats”.

1) Like if you piss me off one more time …

2) I give you 3 chances of forgiveness … then that’s it..

3) I will come to your house and beat you up right in front of your family.

etc. + few swearing words

So, you see it was all fun. Have I ever gone to anyone’s house and beat up anybody? No. Why? Because, it’s not morally right to beat up another man in front of his family, so we used to finish business in between lunch recess or after school fight club thingy.

Yeh, miss those days.

So, why am I writing all this? Well, because when Viru said against Bangladesh we have score to settle or it’s a revenge match, right in front of media. And you know how media treats you if you don’t do something you say. Or even fans treat like “hey, he is an arrogant man” And when that man fails fulfilling them, haters don’t hold back their ass, they will poop back on you. Bloggers will fart on you too. Like remember when he said Bangla is an ordinary side, and then India was in trouble in first inning! Yeh, lot of people must have pooped on our Viru. I am sure lot of did that Simpson’s Nelson’s Haha

Not this time.

When Viru said it’s revenge match against Bangladesh.

He really meant was “I will come to your house, and beat you up”

And he did.